Agitating for safe spaces for women, by Michael Olatunbosun |

You rarely find male authors writing about women and motherhood from the perspective of advocacy. Yes, today there are so many books dedicated to women and the girl child but this one is written by a young man to draw our attention to the sufferings of our mothers in Africa and Nigeria especially. So the book is titled: “The Plights of Our Mothers,” written by Bolarinwa Ajao and published in 2017. The author says he is not a feminist but believes in treating all women fairly. Bolarinwa is a sociologist and book lover.

The book The Plights of Our Mothers is a non-fiction exposé on the unsavoury treatment to which women are subjected in Africa. According to the author in the preface to the book, the work centres on various problems that have been challenging the women especially widows in Africa starting from childhood to adulthood and old age. “I write in respect of African women who are being abused in virtually all areas of their lives. African women, unlike their counterparts in Europe and America, are faced with a series of humiliations, discriminations, harassments, assaults, under ratings and their views are not considered when making important decisions on the basis of their sex,” the author writes.

The book contains five chapters and in 72 pages the author examines the travails of the African woman. For the author motherhood begins with childhood. In other words he asserts that the treatment society meted out to today’s child will reflect in the future but the future may be bleak for today’s child who is a victim of various forms of abuse and it may be even worse for the girl child. 

In this work, Bolarinwa draws the reader into the world of the beautiful woman. He begins the second chapter of the work by insisting that the woman makes the world bright but she still struggles to delight. The author plays up the thinking of society about the beautiful woman – the society, pressure from parents, peers and career priority as elements which push the woman into making hasty choices to her own detriment. The career woman quickly comes in here. The author writes that people in this society are also narrow-minded about unmarried women who are high-flying and career-oriented. “They think that women in that category are arrogant or unsuitable as wives.” 

The author in this work obviously has some liking for the career woman. He asserts that career inclined women find things quite challenging before and after marriage. First they have to pursue their career ambitions without hurting their marital chances. They want a man with whom they would be happy to marry and spend their lives and who will not restrict them. Then when they marry they have to combine work and family in a way that one will not suffer because of the other.

To achieve these things is often the most fulfilling thing that such women can do. The author however discusses some of what he called self-created problems that cause injury to the women folk. Such issues include the socialite mentality which makes women want to be in the limelight always, anti-family issues especially from an in-law view, lack of ambition, extreme materialism, a false sense of importance and selfishness.

In this work: “The Plights of Our Mothers,” Bolarinwa questions some practices that beat the women down in Africa and asks whether women in Africa are goddesses or doormats. He discusses the issues of submissive women in violent marriages and how society perceives them. He discusses what legal options are available for women in abusive relationships and visualizes the agony of the women in labour.

A substantial part of this book is dedicated to discussing the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law saga, and how this debacle can be surmounted; he also discusses the predicament of the Nigerian widow. 

The last chapter of the work is dedicated to the issue of social and political segregation. Here the author muses: “politically speaking, our fathers have failed us. Why not give more chances to our mothers? Thus in this chapter Bolarinwa examines the social, political and religious perspectives on women and how these can be solved. The writer specially pays homage to women like Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and Professor Dora Akunyili as well as Obi Ezekwesili for making an impact on the socio-political scene. But he concludes that despite the above impact of women in our country and some others in other countries, African countries have failed to understand that for development of any kind to be successful, a vantage position should be accorded women as they constitute a larger proportion of the population.

In this regard, they should not be left out in the issues of decision making that border even on their lives. The quota system is another issue to be addressed as this is one of the major instruments that can be used to increase women involvement in government. The author laments the unacceptably low number of women in governance and blames it on lack of internal democracy in the political parties. He believes that this is one of the things that prevent women from having equal political opportunity.

Ultimately, the work is an empathetic work that strongly joins the women folk in advocacy for safe spaces in Nigeria and Africa at large.

. Olatunbosun, a broadcast journalist, fact-checker and book reviewer at Splash FM 105.5, is reachable via 08023517565 (SMS and WhatsApp only) and [email protected].

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