This Ijebu high chief is looking for my trouble o. Ara adugbo eja de wa o. The 80-year-old lovable grandfather and advertising legend just woke up one day and started yabbing me o. Me? What gave him the courage to go at me is something that I really do not understand o. But the Baba was on me for over three hours nonstop, even pulling in my sister, Tosin Adefeko and Mudi into the fray.
The likeable daddy yabbed me o. No name he didn’t call me and dared to say that no Ijebu girl will ever agree to marry me. Me that has dated five Ijebu girls before, it is me that this still very handsome Baba is yabbing.
I laughed o and sent a message to 10,000 people on my WhatsApp to come and carry their Baba o before I unleash. As expected, they started begging. Some said I should tamper justice with mercy, others said I should be the bigger person, that the whole world knows that I am king of yabis, and as such, I should be the bigger man.
But as they were begging, daddy was still firing missiles – Duke, you this Shomolu boy, I go send people to beat you o. I don tell Mudi to arrange boys come beat you. By this time, the gloves were off, and I was not going to care again that this was the biggest and most influential advertising personality of the decade, and a very well-respected Ijebu high chief; he must be attacked.
He had taunted me enough, pushed my buttons and triggered my attack mode. I gave him one last chance to save himself, I said “aghhh, aghhh, aghhhh, daddy, I will fire o,” and he retorted “Duke, you are not real Shomolu, you are fake Duke, I tell you, I will send boys to go and wait for you at Onipanu and they will beat you. Shebi you have been asking for people to come and beat you, oya wait.”
That was it, no more patience, I will fire o and scatter, not caring that this was my life’s mentor and not caring that I went to his 80th and ate three plates of rice. He has touched the tail of a lion, not just any lion, but a castrated one, and that could only mean total annihilation.
As I carried my phone to start the war, the thing just crashed- ohh my God, juju has scattered my phone o. The phone just hang. As I am typing, I am at Computer Village begging the Igbo boys to quickly repair the thing before the baba reach Ijebu o …
Well done, daddy, you are my favourite old man after Chief Emeka Anyaoku, and I really would like to buy afang for you – no strings attached. I know say na the afang dey hungry you, that is why you are sending me all these yabis instead of asking. Don’t worry, sir, I will surprise you one of these days – hope you can still chew meat, or I should come with dentures? Lol. Kai, daddy will retaliate o, I trust him, he will soon send his own yab as I have mentioned dentures now. Kai.
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