Remi Tinubu, I Stand with You
I have long left the bus that stipulates that you must not see anything right in Tinubu and his family. I am not the Sowore type of critic o. My own activism is one with rationality and a huge dose of sense. The other day, a prominent Nigerian called me up – Edgar, e be like say you want join APC or dem don they give you money?
My people, a woman stands up and says- mbok, instead of wasting money giving me gifts, use the money to build the National Library. The woman raised over N20 billion, and the next thing, a court case asking EFCC to investigate how much was really raised and how the funds would be expended.
Another group starts to rail at the husband for not spending taxpayers’ money on the matter. Is this not why the husband asked the other time – is it your money?
Some of these barely literate activists used to make me laugh at times. Someone asks her friends to donate personal money for the betterment of Nigerians in a sector that has all but collapsed, and you are shouting.
I really don’t understand – personal money o for public good o. Why not wait to see if Madam will use the money to buy a yacht before you shout, and even if that happens, is it not the prerogative of those who donated that should do the shouting?
This kind of criticism is called “Amala” criticism. They just shout so that they will be given attention, and a feeding bottle will be stuck in between their waxy lips. A very foolish thing to do, that court case.
Mummy mbok, raising the funds is just one step, making sure the library is built in quality is the next step, and please mummy, let’s not wait till next birthday. Can we do these types of fundraisers for each of the states of the Federation?
Well done, ma and Happy birthday once again. Thanks.
Ezekiel Adamu: Boxing into Glory
I like to use this column to promote entrepreneurship for very obvious reasons. Entrepreneurship is the solution to our basic economic problems as a nation because of its wealth and job creation potential.
Dr Adamu has, over the years, pushed so many projects that have not only created thousands of jobs but also mainstreamed whole sectors. The CEO of the ever-bubbly Balmoral will, this October, stage one of the biggest boxing fights on the continent. Pulling in about 10 boxers from 10 countries with two cruiser weight champions from the United States of America and a slew of huge artists like D’banj and Naira Marley, Dr Adamu will this time literally shut down Lagos.
With an expected 10,000 attendees, the impact of this huge project will hit hospitality, media, tourism, infrastructure, fashion, food and beverages in a way that Lagos has not seen in a bit. With over 5,000 direct jobs and another 10,000 indirect jobs, it is no wonder that the Lagos State Government is bending over backwards to accommodate and support this.
This Adamu comes from a rich sporting pedigree and heritage, as most of you do not know that his father, Adamu, was the first African that held the top and strategic positions at the CAF and FIFA.
Although he has sworn me to secrecy, I will still spill that it is looking like he will be bringing home boy Anthony Joshua to fight in Lagos, and that will surely now throw Adamu into the very famous Power List that I am compiling. Kai. Well done, bro.
Sleep Finally Comes for Oscar Ibru
Skido, as he is fondly called, is the patriarch of the wealthy Ibru family. A family that has produced two of my closest buddies – Elvina and Obuks. Oscar passed during the week after a brief illness. For those of you who do not know, because a lot of us do not read or know history, the brilliance of this family gave us some of our most iconic brands. Brands like the Ibru Group, Federal Palace Hotel, Sheraton Hotels, The Guardian, Aero Contractors and several others were promoted by several members of the family.
Their father, who was the real founder, Olorogun Michael Ibru, was more than a visionary businessman who parlayed a small business in fishery to one of the largest holding business empires on the continent at its height.
Oscar succeeded and took leadership, and unlike most huge family businesses, ruled with love, inclusion and in glory.
He once attended one of my plays that had his beautiful sister, Elvina, playing a major role and bought almost all of the tickets for the show and pushed a lot of his friends to join him in attendance. Such was his love for his huge family that his respect within the family and outside soared.
His friends like Chike Ogeah, Nduka Obaigbena and the rest remain inconsolable. Chike sent me a message: “Edgar Oscar don die ooooo.” And I replied, “My egbon, we can only thank God.”
I last saw him at Ughelli, where we had all gone for the opening of a roundabout by Mudi the Fashion Designer.
May his handsome soul rest in perfect peace. Amen.
Babajide Sanwo-Olu: Time to Build the Ark
Egbon, I think it’s time we sent out bids for the building of an ark, the type Noah built. The flooding in Lagos has reached that proportion. I really would not like to join the millions in singing to the obvious, but we cannot be hunkering down every year while the flood carries our wives away o.
How can someone go to bed telling his wife that she should not worry that by morning, when she wakes up, you will show her what it means to be a true man, and then you wake up and flood has taken her away to Okokomaiko.
Although the issue of flooding in Lagos is as old as the Lord Lugard era, it continues to take on seriously scary proportions year in, year out as a result of many reasons – poor town planning, indiscriminate building approvals, corruption in the process leading to an inability to correct same, overpopulation, climate change, etc.
At least the ones we can solve, we should try na, but it is looking like successive governments lack the willpower to do anything about this. As a result, the whole state is turned into an estuary of the Lagoon each time it rains.
So, the solution is for the Governor to commission building a giant boat like Noah did, and we all move into the ark and wait out the rainy season.
The only problem now will be that by the time they carry APC members, there will be no space for the rest of us.
This is no longer funny, abeg. Oga, do something o.
Rear Admiral Ibas: Probe or No Probe
There is small confusion in this matter. This oga was sent by the president to run an interim government as sole administrator while they decide how to handle the little boy governor who had gone rogue. His mandate was simple: hold down and report to us for six months, a task which he did very robustly.
Now his tour of duty is over and democracy has been restored, and the State House of Assembly has asked for a probe of his interventionist rule and as reported, it is looking like oga is being reluctant.
Well, I am not a lawyer, but my Shomolu sense seems to be in Ibas’ support. He was not democratically elected; he was appointed by some people and sent on an assignment, and as such, he can only be probed by those who sent him, because Rivers’ people did not send him on any errand.
So, in my estimation, the call to probe his tenure is misplaced and should be directed to those who sent him. Simple.
The Rivers State House of Assembly, or whoever it is that is asking for a probe, should stop being cowardly and redirect their calls to the appropriate quarters.
In case they do not know who to go to, let me help them – the man used to wear only one cap with a manila symbol, his wife’s name is Oluremi, and he has a son called Seyi. He used to speak with a deep growl, and agbado is his favourite meal. Mbok, if by now you do not know who I am referring to, then you do not deserve your seats. Thank you.
Sowore vs Wike: Real Rumble in the Sahel
If the reports that Sowore has gone to report Wike to Florida authorities on a mansion are true, then Wike should be headed to the Osun Grove for spiritual solution.
This Sowore is very mischievous and wicked o. Is it because we had said he should be strategic that he is doing this one? This one is a bullseye o and if he succeeds, it will send shivers down the spines of a whole generation of politicians.
My own is, why go to the US to buy a house with all the wahala that comes with that, when you can go to Iran or Colombia to buy a house and they will give you national honour on top.
Well, we have seen reports that basically show that Sowore may have grabbed Wike’s balls, and as I write, I have not seen any response from Wike’s side. This is very uncharacteristic abi is it fake news?
Anyway, whatever it is, I think that Wike should invite Sowore to tea and discuss the effect of climate change in Imo State, and to also seek his support in mediating in the matter between that state and my aburo Sujimoto because Sowore has to be distracted o otherwise, we may be viewing Prison Break with our giant minister in the leading role. I have run away ooooooo.
Ayomisi Oluwadahunsi: An Inglorious Attempt
A lot of you, my readers, don’t know this name, even me; I didn’t know it until last week. This person is a content creator who goes by the name Mandy Kiss, and she just announced that she will sleep with 100 men in 24 hours in an attempt to enter the Guinness Book of World Records.
You see, it is Hida Baci that I blame for this one now. Ever since she entered the record book, Nigerian youths have gone gaga. You know it is “follow follow” that used to do us in Nigeria. Now everybody wants to enter the record book with all sorts of spurious claims. We have seen the longest bean cook, the longest kiss, the longest toilet sitting and now this.
This lady wants to sleep with 100 men for the books, something she has most likely been doing very easily from the look of things, but now wants official recognition.
Thankfully, the Guinness people have pushed back, claiming that they do not have such a category. Anyway, please don’t vex, can anybody please tell me where to register to participate o? I really want to do it for you, my readers; it’s just for research purposes, I swear. Please, nobody should show Duchess this write-up o before you people will now go and scatter my own, because I want to do research. So that I can better serve you, Kai.
Paul Okoye: Justifiably Angry
This talented singer is angry and justifiably so. Someone went on the internet and boldly accused him of something sexually heinous – I will never repeat it here, because that would be strengthening a spurious claim.
In response, Paul has vowed on his mother’s grave to unearth her and deal with her according to the dictates of the law.
You see, this social media has gone to the dogs, and the cybercrime laws are not really working as effectively as they should. It’s a digital blood fest, I swear. People just go there to slander and damage others. See this one o, this person, not even knowing who or what this Paul stands for, just goes there and makes such a damaging report, and the thing is being shared and pushed to millions just like that, without considering how it would damage this person’s family, life and career.
That was how my friend, a very brilliant doctor, was so maligned by his wife on the same social media, got his career damaged, life upturned, leading to him bagging a life sentence, mostly from social media pressure. Today, he has won on appeal and is free, but the damage to his reputation has been done just like that.
I stand with Paul Okoye unequivocally and also with any Nigerian who has been so unjustifiably bullied or maligned on that social media. It’s time to fight back. Thanks.
Godrey Ogbechie: 60 Garlands for a Damsel
It was her 60th last Sunday, and Godrey, the wife of brilliant Gabriel, celebrated in grand style. The hall was filled to the brim with the business community coming in all of their finery to celebrate with her. The people I saw there include Dr Tope Fasoranti, the brilliant former ED at Zenith Bank; oil magnate, Greg Unaseru; Collins Chikeluba, former Akwa Ibom State Governor, Udom Emmanuel; Mohammed Garuba, erudite investment banker, to mention a few.
Godrey is an Executive Director at the multibillion-naira Rain Oil Group, and she continues to exude such grace and elegance that when I went to complain that, as usual, there was no afang, she pointed at Gabriel, who was now doing as if he could not hear me – I will soon release his caricature.
Flavour stole the show as usual, and Gabriel scattered the dance floor with Atilogwu dance steps that he must have learnt immediately after the civil war.
Happy birthday, my beautiful sister and may God grant you many more beautiful days. Congrats.
Kudos to Tinubu on Ogoni Four
As I was rounding up this column, the news that President Tinubu has conferred posthumous honours on the four Ogoni leaders who were killed alongside famed environmentalist activist Ken Saro-Wiwa dropped. This brings to a close the cry for their recognition, especially on the back of their sacrifice for democratic freedom. Well done, sir and thank you so much for this.
These leaders paid the ultimate price for their bold stance against military tyranny during those turbulent times. Their sacrifices and those of others like MKO Abiola for democracy are what we are now enjoying in this country.
This is a bold step. Thank you so much.
Nonny Ugboma: Well Done and Congrats
Nonny Ugboma is the former Managing Director at MTN Foundation. She has just bagged a doctorate in Innovation and Public Policy from the University College London. Her research, according to her, centred on how public sector dynamic capabilities create public value in Nigeria and was supervised by globally regarded scholars like Prof. Mariana Mazzucato and Prof. Julius Mugwagwa.
What a lot of people do not know is that Nonny is a well-sought-after consultant to various governments, both at the federal and state levels, where she provides inputs on policy and the rest.
Her tenure at the MTN Foundation saw the institution deepen its interest in core areas like education, healthcare and the arts.
Nonny is sinfully beautiful and graciously brilliant, a core asset to Nigeria and this is why I am saying congratulations, madam.
Leave a comment