Nnamdi Kanu: Am I Missing Something?
It’s either I must have missed something, or that our country has really become “jaga jaga” like Eedris once sang. So, the designer suit-wearing convict is finally sentenced to life imprisonment, and all of a sudden, a vast number of Nigerians, mostly from a certain part of the nation, have rebranded him as our own Nelson Mandela. I am confused o.
Even if you remove all the theatrics and spit-laden performance in court – I am Nnamdi, nobody can jail me, who paid your school fees – what you have left is a violent and vicious man who has now been convicted for orchestrating violence and moving against the state. He has yet to show any remorse, has not positioned himself to be pardoned or shown any inclination towards negotiations. And all of a sudden, Peter Obi and the rest now want him not only to be pardoned but given national awards so that the rest of us will worship him.
As the calls for his release hit very high decibels, I began to scratch my head – abi is it another person we are talking about here? Is it not this same person who asked that our soldiers and policemen be slaughtered? Is this not the same person who has said all those vile things and, on whose instructions, very violent things have happened in the South-east? Is this not the same person who has consistently been fighting for a violent breakup of the country?
You see, all of us are “mumu” people and just shouting “due process” when
it does not concern us, and when it concerns us, we throw due process into the bush and behave like “idiots”.Mbok, how do you pardon a man who is not ready to engage? How do you jump into the middle of the process and grant a pardon just like that? Shebi you will wait for the process to be complete, and then you send a strong signal showing repentance and humility before you start asking for pardon. A man is still unrepentant, and Peter Obi and his headless sheep are there shouting pardon. How does that even work? We are not just a serious nation, I tell you. So, because bandits are running riot over us and we cannot do anything about them, we should now come and release this one that we have caught because the government has not shown a strong resolve in fighting his colleagues.
We are a country of cowards. The call should never be for the pardon of Nnamdi Kanu, but a call for the government to just go if they cannot show a robust and emphatic resolve to combat all of this violence, from Kanu to his brothers in the North, down to the little “gbomo gbomo” in Shomolu. We should call for their resignation and not a pardon for this bald person who has caused so much pain, violence and death as a result of his misdirected approach towards a genuine problem being faced by all Nigerians, not just his Igbo people. Na wa. Come and beat me.
Buba Galadima: I Agree With You
This Baba said that the Tinubu Government spends nine per cent of its time politicking instead of facing the issues that we face, especially the insecurity and banditry that we currently face.
I could not agree more with this Baba, even if someone comes and beats me for my position. Tinubu has not shown a very serious resolve in facing this matter very squarely. The optics are not encouraging, and until very recently, what we got was the usual tepid government response. As an aside, who approved the release of the picture of the president sleeping during a security briefing? I am praying and hoping that it is AI-generated and not real, because if it is real, you will now understand why Trump is looking very eager to come and bomb us.
What we are all seeing are continued and sustained push towards the 2027 elections and not a real concerted effort at throwing fire for fire on these bandits.
Imagine even contemplating travelling for the G20 at a time like this and cancelling at the last minute and waiting to be applauded?
If we continue, would we even have a country by 2027? I think Mr. President should even forget that 2027 and be a true Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces and start wearing a uniform and jump into the theatre of war.
Declaring a state of emergency is a first start, and the approval to recruit more people into the police and army is another powerful step. The removal of police from VIPs is brilliant, but much more importantly, go to the National Assembly, get more powers and declare a police state in these states. After all, it was not like this when you declared a state of emergency in Rivers State and removed the governor. Do the same in these states, move in the bulk of the army into these states, suspend relevant portions of the Constitution in these states and begin to scatter and bamboozle these people. Shock and awe them with sustainable attacks, and with you at the head of these operations.
Mr. President, don’t come to Lagos for a bit, suspend all owambe parties, hold down Wike and stop the politicking; we have a war to fight. Let’s get serious, Oga. President no be only a 100-car motorcade oooooo, na also jumping into a fray like this. Oya, jump in, we will help you hold your mandate for you. When you come back, we will give it back. Kai.
Ayo Fayose: You Should Have Hit Him
Omoluabi Fayose, in a recent comment and as reported by many platforms, said that he felt like seizing the microphone Baba Obasanjo was using to yab him and hitting him in the head. Me, I think that was what he should have just done and then when that one falls and dies, he will only organise the state burial, pay for the 21 gun salute and go to the general assembly of the United Nations and explain that he hit the war hero, respectable international statesman and simply the most influential Nigeria alive because that one yabbed him at his 65th birthday.
He will also explain during his speech at the burial that he is the only one that Obasanjo has yabbed in this world and that he is also the only one with a thin skin that cannot take yabbis. That he was so angry because he gave that one transport fare to come to his crap of a birthday party.
One thing you cannot take away from Obasanjo is his native intelligence. The Baba apparently saw through the mockery of coming to invite him to a birthday party after years of cold shoulders. It is at Baba’s age that someone will now come and try to use him as hype man abi. Fayose actually wanted a dose of Baba’s eternal credibility, add some weight to his light-weight party and leverage on Baba’s huge goodwill to make a statement and possibly reenter serious circles.
Baba saw through all of that and quickly poured water in a powerful way on his parade. He attended the party o, made sure he didn’t eat the cold amala and insisted on speaking last so that this “man child” would not attempt to rubbish him. He spoke his mind freely and openly, and then even advised the persona, gave him some admonitions and a little prayer.
But the man being what he is, did not see the prayers and the advice and the admonition; it is the yabs that he saw and is now not regretting abusing very strenuously a man far more accomplished than anything his lineage has thrown up.
He should have hit him ooo. It’s not too late. Shebi he knows the way to Abeokuta, he should go there and hit him or he should wait for another party that Obasanjo will attend and go there to beat him to a pulp, and then Tinubu will make him GCON. Rubbish.
Atiku Abubakar: Birthday Greetings
Dear Sir, the other day I sat with your man, Peter Okocha, and we gossiped about you. He showed me your prayer mat, which he said you always use when you come to his office. He told me about how you guys met when you were a young customs officer. He also gave me a lot of gist about your friendship, love for Nigeria and your business acumen, amongst others.
He ended by declaring that you will still be the President of Nigeria. On that one, I did not agree with him, but kept my mouth shut as I went there to beg him for sponsorship for my play on Asaba and did not want to annoy him.
Well, as the man never answer since then, let me quickly risk it and say my mind. You remain a very iconic Nigerian, and with the drop of leaders that we are seeing, your style of leadership and passion now look very robust and divine. My Lord, Nigeria is on its knees, having been shackled down by people you are very close to.
We need serious help, and the role that people like you should be playing is advisory and not to be in the driver’s seat. Nigeria has a large number of youths; the salvation of our country is in youth and technology. The vast and robust deployment of technology will reduce corruption, evaporate self-interest and drive economic growth and impact the people, reducing poverty and driving inclusion.
My Excellency, the role I see you playing is that of mentoring and advising the next president. You should identify a 50-year-old person, male or female and be the energy behind him. Give him your platform and reach, play politics and let him drive the economy and face our other challenges. He must drink from your fountain of knowledge, and you will use all your “agbari” to protect and guide him.
Mbok, let me advise you to forget the presidency as your candidacy continues to block very fine candidates, or are you doing a Wike for Tinubu?
Happy birthday, Your Excellency. Please, take my sincere words very seriously because it is the love I have for you that is making me give you this advice at the risk of Mr. Okocha not taking my calls again. Kai, the challenges of being a businessman and a social critic. Now sponsorship fit don lost ooooo. Kai!
IG Egbetokun: Who will Protect Me Now?
This new directive of withdrawing policemen from VIP protective services is giving me sleepless nights. As you know, as the Duke of Shomolu, I have my own police escorts, and their job is very clear. Carry my bags, wash my car, help me schedule the babes so there is no clash, and very importantly, keep a seat for me at venues, because I always come in late, and when I finally come in, they will make sure nobody comes near me. They help me collect food, taste it before I eat. They even help me buy condoms, hold my phone and take calls and do so much that I do not even know how I will function without my police escort.
Mr. Egbetokun, you know I have not supported Sowore in all that abuses that he has been abusing you, so please, because of me, kindly reconsider this policy, because if you go ahead with it, I will naked o and all the people that have been wanting to beat me will come and beat me oooo. Kai, helppppp. Nigeria is a cruise ship, I swear.
Some people will not understand this sarcasm now o, they will be looking for me to beat now o. Na wa.
Ezra Olubi: A Case of Reputation
The cat-loving genius has been sacked, and he is crying wolf. He says due process was not followed and that the investigations were still going on. As such, his lawyers will fight back. Well, the firm has replied that he was sacked based on the reputational damage the whole thing was doing to their brand, and I agree.
So, the company says that there are two different things: The reputation of the firm and the investigation. The company has too many stakeholder groups – shareholders, investors, business partners, regulators and the market, and a stained reputation affects market positioning and value. You people know that I am a failed investment banker, so I know these things. With a tainted CEO, especially one who continues to say his tweets of wanting to sleep with cats and underage girls are harmless, it is a branding suicide, and any responsible firm must cut him off very quickly, which is what they have done.
They must look at the relevant clauses in his contract to make sure that everything is done well sha and if that is the case, then Ezra will have no other choice but to go and marry his cat.
CEOs, especially ones like Ezra who have built a brand around themselves and personalities, must do everything within their power not to let us know whatever their issue is with their cats. You can sleep with your cat, but don’t tell us. Which one is posting it and announcing it all over the place, and you now want my teenage son to be using your services and be following you so that he, too, will start liking cats? Oga, please just go and sit down.
Ike Ekweremadu: A Really Sad Matter
This matter is very touching. No doubt the man committed a crime, but who would not or even consider it very seriously when the life of your child is at stake? The man was convicted of trying to procure a kidney for his daughter. A huge international crime, no doubt, but the emotional angle begins to make me soft anytime this matter comes up.
For his attempt at saving his daughter’s life, he and his wife were caught and given long prison sentences.
The Nigerian government recently sent in a delegation to seek that he continue his sentence in Nigeria, but the British refused, saying that there are no guarantees that he will remain in prison. For that one, na true, especially if you look at Bobrisky’s testimony, but they should have at least looked at the thing emotionally na.
The man was trying to save his daughter, he has served a good part of his sentence in good behaviour, na. It is not every time that they should be looking at the book, but should have some human feeling, na.
Please, can we try again? Can we put in more pressure at the highest level and appeal on humanitarian grounds for his release? Mbok, let’s not forget Ike; he was just trying to be a good father. Thanks.
Leave a comment