President Tinubu: When Silence is Golden
Nigerians like to push someone into trouble. Imagine them asking President Tinubu to comment or even lambast Trump on the Venezuela attack.
The good thing is that when they say that Tinubu is a master strategist, it is in things like this that his baba “nla” strategist skill comes into play. You think that Baba would like to be woken up by US Marines in his bedroom? Mbok, you people should allow our Baba to continue to stand on his mandate till whenever his God says it is his time to step down.
We were all sleeping o, and the next thing we heard was that a sitting President – illegal or not – had been woken up and spirited to another country just like that. His deputy imposed, his country’s natural resources quarantined, and he himself whisked away to face an ordinary court in one state – a sitting president o tried in an ordinary magistrate court that they tried P. Diddy with his baby oil matter, not even a court of international jurisdiction, and you want Tinubu to talk?
Talk wetin? Person that has not gone to the UN to talk; person that they have given a last warning; person that is just managing himself here in Abuja to go; and put his mouth inside something that does not concern him?
You people think that Tinubu is like me that went to put mouth inside Dapo Abiodun and Detoun’s wahala, and both sides turned around to attack me. If not for Otunba Bimbo Ashiru’s interference, only God knows where I would be writing this column this morning.
Mbok, Baba Seyi, don’t mind these people o. Don’t put your mouth in Trump’s matter o, that man brain no complete o. Don’t go and look for unnecessary trouble, just keep silent and face your front. Silence is truly golden. Thanks.
The Gradual Unwinding Down of Nyesom Wike
You don’t have to be a prophet to see this inevitability – the unwinding of the political tornado, Nyesom Wike.
The very beautiful and sometimes tempestuous political career is in its last days. The man who has bestridden the political landscape with so much aplomb, comedy and boldness may yet be moving very assuredly towards political retirement.
I have started work on his tribute. I am on the second paragraph as I eulogise his colourful career, and I dare say that the way things are going, we may be looking at as early as next year to do a send-off party for this Oga.
The National Secretary of the APC has stated it very clearly – you should resign as minister and face Rivers politics – a viewpoint I strongly support. Elements in the APC are also saying that he is not a member of the APC, so why interfere?
Fubara, his seasonal lackey, is growing stronger as some APC member governors are strongly backing him; the APC structure in Rivers is supporting Fubara. Wike is fighting almost everybody, and finally, he has so decimated the PDP that there is no strength on that platform to leverage.
His best bet is to join the APC, but that in itself will scatter that party because he would now be struggling with Fubara as to who the leader of the party in Rivers is.
My people, Wike’s matter is something that will be studied in years to come in different Political Science classes in our universities. Interesting.
Is Atiku Abubakar On the March Again?
This baba has started again. He says he will not step down for anybody in the new coalition, and this would once again be the Achilles heel of the ADC. This same path was threaded in PDP during the last election, which led to the fragmented votes that gave President Tinubu the victory.
How Atiku cannot see that he has passed his sell-by date beats me. Moreover, in the rotational thing, the South still has one more term to serve before the thing goes back to the North. How he wants to now restructure the whole thing for his personal reasons leaves a lot to be imagined.
Peter Obi, by far, is an easier sellable candidate, and if Atiku is a true patriot, he should lend his weight to Obi’s candidacy.
See, if Atiku emerges, I will do like Soyinka, join the ADC and tear my membership card in protest than waste my vote on Atiku’s table of selfish politics.
You see that we have a major problem at the centre, and we are all gathering to see how we can solve this problem, but every time this Baba will be a stumbling block.
I think the coalition should use the next two weeks to deal with this problem effectively by letting him know their resolve not to go through that path again.
Let’s solve this problem very quickly so that we can focus on the great task ahead. There is serious work to be done, Tinubu no be garri oooo. Na master strategist and he is not sleeping o.
Victor Osimhen: Our Hero, Our Villain
What normal people don’t know is that we geniuses used to vex o. Any small thing we have vexed. I tell you, ask those who work with or for me. If you talk what I don’t want to hear, I will vex and shout and tear my clothes, and after, I will apologise, but I have vexed.
That is what is doing my boy Victor. You people don’t understand the erratic nature of geniuses. The man wanted to score a hat-trick, but one small boy, whom the Apostle had said would not even have a good tournament, is denying him the ball.
Of course, genius Victor will vex. If it were me, I would slap him sef.
Give Victor the ball oooo, I don’t know what the rest of you are doing with the ball. Who told you that it is you we want to see? See mumu people trying to shine when only Victor is the one who should be shining.
This thing is very painful, I swear. It is like after each of my very brilliant theatre productions, Yemi Shodimu will carry that his big head and be calling names and forget to call me. I will storm the stage, collect the mic and warn him that if he should try it again, I will release his caricature and he will be in the nude, rubbish.
Victor Osimhen is the first-ever Nigerian to paint his hair orange, the very first to wear a mask to play football, and his k-leg has been patented, so why would one short Lookman be looking for his trouble? I swear it is an APC thing, and it better stop because even me will walk up to him and deliver that slap he deserves that Osimhen is looking at God and not slapping him, I will slap him.
Please, let me send a very strong warning to all of these players: Give Victor all the balls. Thank you.
Gbenga Agboola – Brilliant and Strategic Move
Can I call him my friend, this GB? I met him once, and we hit it off; we had beautiful conversations, and since then, the bobo just blank me. Anyway, today is not about his blanking me or not, but to celebrate him for his latest acquisition, the $40m acquisition of Mono.
Now I am confused when he says it is an open bank. I don’t know what that means, or is he trying to say that the bank is like all these traditional banks, and if so, are they in Nigeria? Any which way, his Flutterwave, which is one of the biggest Fintech platforms on the continent, just made this acquisition, and I must say it is an impactful one, especially if you see the numbers.
GB is doing so well, after weathering a lot of storm that comes with ventures like this, and I must state very categorically that, unlike his counterpart who has burnt himself within the mores of a sex scandal, GB continues to maintain decorum, discipline and ethical assuredness as he builds this monster of an institution.
Well done, bro, but should you not be looking at an NGX listing? Please consider. Thanks.
Mustafa Chike-Obi’s Brilliant Tenure
His retirement from the Board of Fidelity Bank has just been announced. Mustafa Chike-Obi is one of Nigeria’s most brilliant financial intellectuals. His rich ancestral pedigree, being the son of the legendary Prof Chike Obi, that we used to hear in Shomolu for his prowess in Mathematics, puts Mustafa in a very towering position in public discourses.
The respect he has garnered is not only from his illustrious pedigree but from the sheer strength of his intellect, his depth and the clarity that he brings to the table.
His tenure at AMCON saw him work very assiduously with his team to bring a lot of Nigerian banks from the brink of collapse. Also, at Fidelity, he led a forward-thinking Board in telling one of the most brilliant banking stories ever. Working very closely with the equally brilliant Nneka Onyeali-Ikpe, Fidelity Bank has grown in all indices into a financial behemoth and one with a huge respect within and without.
Let me seize this opportunity to send my huge congratulations to Mr Chike-Obi for such a brilliant tenure. Well done, sir.
Funke Akindele: The Billion Naira Movie Producer
This lady has to be studied. She has produced three movies that have hit the N1billion mark back-to-back. That is what Yorubas used to call “lera lera,” I tell you.
Her latest movie, ‘Behind the Scene’, has crossed the N1billion mark very easily and is still coasting. The beautiful thing about this particular movie is that it deviated from her usual slapstick comedy and took viewers to the depths of emotions and the pain of betrayal while mixing it up with a good dose of healthy laughter.
Funke seems to have built a very sturdy viewership base that follows her around no matter what she produces, and she herself is not taking them for granted as she continues to churn out cinematic gold.
I have seen early rushes of the movie for my review, and I tell you that this was a five-star production. Kai, from the characterisation, to the locations and depth of performance and viewing quality, this was the best Nigerian movie that I have seen in a long while.
Well done, my sister, but stop reading my chats and not replying. I will send Victor Osimhen to you oooo.
Ade Adefeko: A Diplomatic Farewell
My ‘Aburo’ – he will laugh now – has for some time now been the Honorary Consul for Botswana in Nigeria, but he just resigned. Just as I was about to write about him and hail him because of his philanthropic gestures towards some widows, he resigned.
I was about to call him to ask if his appointment was in Botswana or Rwanda, since I was not sure. The next minute, I saw a lengthy statement from that country that he had finished his term.
My quick investigation shows that there is a lot that meets the eye, but I will keep quiet for now. But let me just say that this is an opportunity for another small country that needs serious inroads in Nigeria to grab Ade now ooo.
Well, Ade, for those of you who do not know him, is a very well-liked gentleman. Not that he get money o, but that he is well-connected and his job at the agric giant Olam, where he handles intergovernmental relations, has seen him hobnob at the highest levels on the continent. He is on a first-name basis with a lot of African Heads of States and is also well integrated into the power structure in our country.
Married to the equally powerful PR guru, Tosin, this power couple used to light up any serious gathering once they stepped in.
This is to wish Ade post-retirement congratulations and to also say keep the flag flying.
Ade is a wonderful “bad mama jama.” If you don’t gerrit, forget aborrit. Thanks.
Fubara Okoroafor: Beautiful Masquerades
Dr Okoroafor is one of those people that you never hear of but are doing “things”. A serial entrepreneur who is employing thousands and with business ties spreading globally, giving him the strength to impact strongly across the country.
During the week, he celebrated his 60th, and I flew straight into the Civic Centre party where my sister Ndidi was holding sway as chief organiser. As usual, I will list the powerful people that I saw at the party.
Former Chief Executive at the Sovereign Wealth Fund, Uche Orji, was there looking very young and handsome; my brother Dakuku Peterside, the former MD of NIMASA and the former House of Representatives member, walked in alone and hugged me. I also saw the Gas King, Julius Rone, who flew in from Abuja and a host of others.
The Okoroafor brothers were well represented, and the masquerades from his village also sent representatives.
It was a grand event and justifiably so. Happy 60th my brother. Thank you for the food.
God bless you.
Zara Joseph Edgar: Happy Birthday
Please, let me crave your indulgence to wish my last child, Zara Edgar, a happy birthday.
I am writing about her on this very well-respected page as a small compensation. You see, her birthday always comes up on January 6, and you all know how January can be. Most times I will be broke, and I will just be begging and later, give her a treat at month-end.
This year, she had been warning me, and I have been saying “Don’t worry,” and truly, the day came, and I was broke. So the cunning man in me set in.
I said oya, take N50k, go and watch a movie, and I will write about you in THISDAY. She looked at me with a frown and walked away.
As I write, I can hear her standing guard at my door, and I am looking for how I will sneak out of the house. I have called the Facility Manager to help me switch off the light in my unit, so that she will go and ask what is going on, and I will use that opportunity to escape.
Mbok, happy birthday, my baby girl, and may God bless you eternally and give
you a very long and fruitful life. May you not marry a man like me. Month-end, we will deal.
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