Who’s After Hadiza Bala Usman?
There are indications that certain forces want to cause a rift between the Special Adviser to the President on Policy and Coordination, HadizaBalaUsman on one hand, and President Bola Tinubu and the Secretary to the Government of the Federation (SGF), Senator George Akume, on the other hand.
The forces obviously want to incite President Tinubu and Akume against BalaUsman by sponsoring the reports that Tinubu has appointed her as the new SGF.
The reports claimed that President Tinubu had appointed BalaUsman to replace Akume, who was said to have been reassigned as the National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), following the resignation of Dr. Abdullahi Ganduje.
The false reports were greeted with celebrations by some women’s groups who welcomed the purported appointment, describing it as a milestone for gender representation at the highest level of governance.
However, the Special Adviser to the President on Information and Strategy, BayoOnanuga has debunked the claim, labelling it “fake news” and advising the public to disregard misinformation.
“There has been no change in the status of His Excellency, Senator George Akume, as Secretary to the Government of the Federation,” Onanuga said in a statement issued late Friday.
“President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, currently in Saint Lucia, has not made any new appointments. The information circulating about Akume’s replacement is untrue. Agents of mischief fabricated it,” Onanuga’s statement added.
Those behind this dangerous rumour used Ganduje’s resignation to promote this falsehood.
With Ganduje’s resignation, the North-central geopolitical zone has renewed the clamour for the position to return to the zone and Akume who hails from the zone is believed to be the best choice for the job in view of his experience and track record.
According to APC’s zoning arrangement, the position was zoned to North-central.
However, the zone lost the seat when a former governor of Nasarawa State, Senator Abdullahi Adamu resigned as the National Chairman of the ruling party.
Those who are spreading the fake news about BalaUsman replacing Akume want to cause a rift between her and the president, as well as the former Benue State governor by portraying her as being desperate and over-ambitious.
Events of the next few weeks will reveal if the saying that ‘there is no smoke without fire’ is apt in this rumour.
But those who went to town with this rumour do not mean well for BalaUsman.
Tokunbo Wahab vs Sir Kayode Otitoju: A Rumble that Never was
The clip was heart rendering. It showed an old gentleman, his back to the camera and a generator beside him and a caption that broke my heart. That was not an ordinary old man o, that was Sir KayodeOtitoju, a highly revered elder statesman, former commissioner in Ekiti State, former Lekki Resident Association Chairman and a huge Nigerian.
The matter between Sir Otitoju and some agencies of the Lagos State government has been going on for years with both sides maintaining firm positions. Sir Otitoju parades a lot of documents issued by the same agencies evidencing his position while the Lagos State people are also quoting laws supporting their position.
Something had to be done because Otitoju, despite his age, had been thrown into a blackmaria, driven to the other end of town, detained and taken to court all within 24 hours. In retaliation, Sir Otitoju fired back in the best way that he could – media. You know Baba is a veteran media fighter and he unleashed his media power on the matter and before you know it, the optics were not looking too good for the Lagos people.
Enter the mediator – you will never guess who the mediator was. Na me ooooo. That was how I wore my shredded jeans with a very beautiful shirt, complete with dreadlocks and earring and entered the matter.
Hon TokunboWahab, the extremely brilliant Commissioner of Environment graciously accepted my request for a meeting. He now gathered all his people including my brother Adegbite who is now Perm Sec – he was just Director when the matter started, and the very beautiful GM of LASPARK – I don forget her name, and finally Mr. Gbadegesin of LAWMA.
Mbok, Sir Kay, a veteran of the Nigerian Independence struggles, came well prepared- documents in triplicates and filling one box. I opened the talks with the dexterity of a veteran arms negotiator from the UN and then I asked daddy to speak. Daddy spoke for 24 hours, mediator slept off, commissioner froze, hungry started to catch Gbadegesin, Adegbite started to count stars, and Sir Kay kept at it.
Mbok, I don’t know how they did o but by the time I woke up, they had settled. I was very happy, they hugged and laughed and I stood up with spit coming out of my mouth and joined them for photographs. Mediator work don finish, I entered my car and drove straight to the nearest canteen to help myself with a big bowl of afang. That Sir Otitoju speech can wake Chief Awolowo from his grave, kai. Well, all is well that ends well. Thank you.
Atiku and Obi: The Perils of Opposition
It was Nasir El-Rufai who said Tinubu is not Jonathan. Well the salvos have begun. One has lost his highly revered title in Adamawa, the other just got his brother’s house demolished in Lagos by unknown people bandying allegedly spurious court order.
My own advice is for these people to hunker down because the journey will be very turbulent going forward. This will not be a fight for lily-livered men. This is going to be rough, really rough. Atiku and Obi should, if they have not already done that, call their respective families and have serious heart-to-heart conversations.
They should look at them very squarely in the eyes and say, “Guys, I am going into a fight that may consume me. I am prepared for the worst and if possible, I am ready to give my life because Nigeria has to be rescued.” This meeting should not involve their wives because they will not agree, especially with this Iwuayanwu’s will still trending.
They should make their plans, arrange their homes and their situations because by the time they come out of this particular battle, we may not recognise them. Shebi Obi is still wearing black traditional wear up and down, at the other side of 2027, na Tai Solarin shorts he will be begging to wear.
These are not boy scouts o. These are not flower-carrying people o, these are red-eyed denizens with real power that will not hesitate to deploy. Shebi you see all these defections, you think it is ordinary eye?
Governors are taking MKO Abiola’s advice of not standing in front of a moving train. They are jumping out of the way leaving Atiku, Obi and Nasir to stand in front of the moving train and hoping for a miracle. Our prayers are with them sha, shebi nobody expected Abacha to eat apple, just maybe lightning will strike twice in this Nigeria. Na siddon look we dey o and this is so sad because I cannot even eat popcorn while all this is going on. This is just so sad a story. Kai.
Nasir El-Rufai: A Nostradamus in the Making
Still on the matter of the opposition, it is looking like the arrowhead of the push, Nasir El-Rufai has turned to a prophet. He was recently declaring on national TV that the guy is gone. When pressed further, he posited “Look we have carried out surveys, the man has 98% unapproved in the South-east and North and another 78% in Lagos, so he should not be looking at it as if the elections are settled.”
If El-Rufai opens a church, he will fail o because this his prophecy cannot work. He fails to realise – that is, if this his talk is his real position – that this fight is not surface fight o. Since when did opinion polls matter? Since when did anybody vote count? Since when did we do anything above board regarding elections? The last credible elections we had was June 12 and dem scatter am. Since then, what we have been having is “kurukere” moves instead of elections and now that the masters of the game, the people who understand this thing very well are in full charge, we are bandying surveys as weapons.
The problem with the opposition is El-Rufai, Atiku and Obi. They do not have the credibility, sense of purpose and pedigree to engender the kind of massive people revolt to sweep out this thing that we are seeing.
What we need are not frustrated political players like these three but very serious-minded new age missioners who will appeal to the very core of discontent and push a kinda ‘I have a dream’ pull that will galvanise people power that will now sweep the Augean stable and we start afresh.
If na these terrible three, make we start to sweep Eagle Square for Tinubu’s second inauguration. Sad, but true. Come and really beat me.
Banana Island: A Slippery Initiative
For those of you who do not know, Banana Island is an overrated Island nestled somewhere on the Lagos Island that its residents are thinking they are living in Monaco or Bel Air. With its overgrown lawns, scattered physical planning and “jagajaga” arrangements, it has now forced itself into our consciousness as the numerouno abode of the richest and most influential of us.
If you see how the residents will be carrying their big heads and be saying with pride – I live in Banana. Banana ko, tomatoes ni.
They have been in the news recently with the discriminatory entry policy that they have put in place. We have seen reports that say that artisans and other such people would now be paying a fee to gain exit. As if this was not shameful enough, we have also heard that one Lagos State agency has opened an office – selling passes to these minimum wage earners whose only desire is to go inside the concrete prison to fix their toilets, clear their smelly gutters and do other things that makes their lives easier.
I have never seen this kind of concentrated ego trip. Why would you ask people who are coming to work for you to pay to enter your enclave despite the kinds of wealth you all claim to have, both legitimate and otherwise?
Thankfully, some civil rights lawyers have petitioned the Lagos State Attorney general on the matter. That Banana Island own is too much abeg, that is why, I no dey go there for anything.
If anybody asks me to come for a meeting inside that place, I used to say they should come and meet me on the road outside because I no longer have patience for their smelly mouth security men who will put their ugly faces inside your window and say “code?” And you will have to quickly rush and go and test for Ebola. When you even enter the place, you will be wondering why all the shakara. Rubbish.
Adeniran Ogunsanya: A Multi-dimensional Problem
Chief Ogunsanya really has my sympathy. His business is facing very turbulent times. It has just been reported that they have lost about two million subscribers and to hedge, they have reduced their subscription by 50% and now the federal government through one agency has taken them to court for refusing to listen to them on an increase of the same rates sometime last year or was it early this year?
These thick-headed government officials who do not really understand the markets will just be doing anyhow. The man is running his own little government to stay afloat – providing his own power in a capital intensive business with dollar-denominated inputs and you say he should not increase his prices when dollars have gone up by over 600%, driving his costs through the roof.
Is he providing an essential service? His service is for only those who can afford it and not a government sanctioned service so why won’t he float with demand and supply?
Others around him like the DISCOS are having the government help them announce the price increases but this one that is not essential, the same government through a this agency is taking them to court for trying to stay afloat.
If they had allowed them, shebi market forces would have achieved it all with no stress. Today, when MultiChoice has seen where the market is headed, they have on their own without prompting, slashed the same prices by 50%.
As long as we keep putting people who do not understand the economy and marketing in public offices, we will continue to suffer from their apparent tom foolery, I tell you. Chief Ogunsanya, you have my support and pity because it can never be easy doing legitimate business in this country. The wahala is just too much.
FavourOfili: Going, Going
The super athlete reportedly wants to japa. Reports are saying that she may have applied to change citizenship and is in the queue to become a citizen of Turkey, I hope I got it right. Mbok, the lady has suffered in the hands of our inept officials, peaking at the last Olympic where she was not registered for a top event.
In response, she went ahead to break the world record in one of the events after that global disgrace, etching her name in the annals of history. Well, if it is true that she wants to go, mbok very well just go o. People like us, it is old age and lack of a credible source of afang that is keeping us here. An athlete has a life span, so you cannot be using patriotism to be doing yourself bad. Once she is 30, it is over so she has a finite number of years to be at peak performance and it will be very very stupid to now carry those few years and put in the hands of “guguru and epa” eating officials who know nothing about these things.
My sister, if they don’t agree in Turkey, come and let me take you to Belarus, I know one Alex that went to school with our oga that will make it happen. My number is at the top of the page, let’s move fast abeg, no time to waste. It is what it is. Thank you.
Itohan Barlow: A Culturally Attuned Ambassador
A lot of you do not know Itohan Barlow or may not ever meet her. I have and have come out of that encounter with goose pimples. Her flow and clarity when it comes to designs and spatial something is world class.
It is no wonder that the Nigerian Pavilion at the just-concluded biennial on designs which was held in London received a lot of experts’ attention. The biennial is an international event that pulls in the very best in global design curators to what can be described simply as the magic in designs.
The Nigerian Pavilion was top 5 of the 35 pavilions and was described as simply magic. It also hosted five First Ladies and the Olu of Warri and other such dignitaries and came with the theme ‘Hope and Impediments.’ It leveraged the Lejja community in Enugu State to deliver a first world experience. It used a fine mix of cartography, music and tactile experience to explore new futures engendering a strong call to bring it home.
Some of you like Mudi will not understand some of these things that I have said here and it’s ok. Even me, I did not understand before until I went asking. So, if you are interested, reach out and let me explain to you. Life is more than banga soup and starch – Mudiiiiii.
Remi Tinubu: Let’s Work Smart
Mummy has been quoted to say that she wants her office on the budget. She was lamenting on the many things that she has to do with the “little” funds she has, and as such the National Assembly or whoever it is that is his job to make things happen should make things happen.
Mummy, you miss the point. This thing you are saying is correct because the First Lady’s office is very crucial to society. The soft power it wields is unimaginable and can be transformed into a strong platform for the betterment of the people.
But going for a budget is not the right thing to do mummy, abi you sef no dey pity the budget? The way your sons are going with public expenditure, there is really nothing left there o except you too want to join the borrowing spree to fund your obviously laudable projects.
The more credible way to go about it is to independently source your funding which is very easy. So, if a whole Remi Tinubu, longest serving female senator in Africa, wife of the only Jagaban, schoolmate of the great Alex, now calls for a fundraising, do you think people will not throw money at her?
Mbok, mummy what you need is a super fund-raising champion that will coordinate, strategise and engage the markets and you will see the kind of money that even the national coffers cannot even dream of. Abi mummy, were you not in Nigeria when President Obasanjo launched his library? Didn’t you see the kind of money they threw at him?
Asking to be part of national expenditure is a lazy way to go about it. Just try this my suggestion and you will see what I am saying. Me, I am ready to send in my résumé to be the official Chief Marketing Officer in the First Lady’s office. If I don’t drop you N1 trillion per quarter, call me a bastard. Mbok, leave budget alone, employ me and let’s start work. All these female CEOs from Fidelity Bank, to that woman that her husband owns Providus Bank to the Alakijas, and the rest will just be too happy to be part of it.
My dear mummy, let’s work smart. This one you are doing is working hard and that is ancient tactics, let’s work smart. Mbok when am I resuming?
Leave a comment