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Ebelechukwu Enemchukwu: In Marriage, What Works for Me May Not Work for You

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Ebelechukwu Enemchukwu, the CEO of WABIO International Limited, wears many hats as wife, mother, corporate professional, beauty queen, and women’s advocate. But beyond the glamour and achievements lies a woman deeply grounded in values, faith, and a clear sense of purpose. She speaks candidly about marriage, noting that what works for her may not work for another person, a reminder that every relationship has its unique rhythm and should not be judged by societal templates. Her perspective underscores the importance of individuality, respect, and understanding in building lasting unions. Beyond her personal life, Enemchukwu reflects on her journey through pageantry, which she insists is not just about physical beauty. For her, the crown offered a platform and a stronger voice to inspire women, promote causes close to her heart, and challenge stereotypes. Charles  Ajunwa brings the excerpts:

C

an you tell us about growing up?

My family was a close-knit one. There was I, my father, mother, five siblings, the first boy, then four girls. So I’m the second child. So growing up was beautiful. I was very close to my brother. In fact, if you notice, I always wear baseball caps. This was my brother because we’re that close. He always had a baseball cap on. He always had something on and I picked that up from my first year in school. Growing up we didn’t have people coming to live with us. The best we had was maybe going on family vacations and for such family vacations, it would be a total family movement. But we’re really close. I remember sometimes people ask me, where did you get your diction, your love for English language from? I always say to them, I’ll attribute it to two people. One, my dad. My dad was a believer in newspapers and their impact in shaping, not just people’s thoughts, but in improving your vocabulary. Sadly, we’ve lost a lot of that. We’re not even going to lie about it as of today. So that was my dad. As per the diction, the elocution, the clarity of words, effective communication, I’ll give it to my mum. That was her. My mum was a mathematics teacher. She grew, of course, through the ranks, became a guidance counsellor, vice principal, then retired as a permanent secretary in the Ministry of Education Enugu State. My dad is a pharmacist. He still practices pharmacy. I mean, he has his own line of business, he makes his own drugs.  So in my family, we were that close. My primary education was in Abia State. I was born in Enugu, I’m from Enugu, Udi Local Government Area, and raised in Aba in Abia State. My first degree was from Abia State University, Uturu. My secondary education, before getting to university was in Akwa Ibom, Federal Government College Ikot Ekpene. So that was my upbringing. So I had my Master’s at the University of Lagos, and I’m back in school now actually running a couple of programmes. I keep saying learning is an ongoing thing.

 You talk with so much energy, were you a stubborn child growing up?

 I have people who will always tell me you have different personalities. Those who have been close to me and now understand me would say, ‘she is quiet, she is just to herself.’ That same person will encounter me on the stage hosting an event and will not believe this is the same person with a heavy dose of humour and professionalism. That same person will see me taking a corporate class, teaching emotional intelligence, or team building or interpersonal relationship skills and the person would wonder, ‘hold a minute, is it the same person?’ Basically, I wouldn’t call it different personalities. It’s like having a quiver full of arrows. You know when to pull out each and shoot. I’m a thoughtful person. I’m big on thoughtfulness, mindfulness, and intentionality. Sometimes I tell myself not to suffer from analysis paralysis. I’m also not somebody who rushes on a trend. No. I’m not a trend person. I will set it, and I will set it at my own pace. So I know when to activate whichever part, I have different capacities. Somebody who has never encountered me would think I’m a quiet person. So, I’m not a stubborn person, but I’m too confident. In fact, if there’s such a thing as taming it or reducing it, that is probably what I started doing at some point. Once upon a time, people would say, ‘she is a snub.’ And that is because I’m too sure of myself. I’m too sure of what I want, and I’m never forceful about it. I feel the pulse of everyone and everything, really. I’m never in a hurry.  One day, my husband asked me, ‘why is it that people find it too comfortable sharing things with you, even unsolicited?’ And I told him that it is because they know it would never be heard anywhere. They know this woman would rather die than divulge information. That has always been in me. The confidence has always been there. I would say I’m confident, but I’m cautious because I know there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I’m pressed by what people think about me. Good perception is good. That’s what I teach. At times, you can’t undo it. Present yourself well. Present the best version of yourself every time.

How did you become a queen?

I competed in the Mrs. category of the United Nations pageant and I won Mrs. Nigeria. Having won Mrs. Nigeria United Nations, I represented Nigeria on the international stage and won the Mrs. Tourism United Nations world title. So for those who usually would say, Miss, I keep correcting them saying, Mrs., not Miss. It’s a Mrs. I competed as Mrs. I already had my last child before competing. So it wasn’t a case of Miss, then you became Mrs. No. So, having won Mrs. Nigeria, I also won Mrs. Tourism, and that’s in a nutshell what introduced me to the business of tourism. And that’s how I got here. And yes, I’ve done it for over a decade now, and it’s been an interesting journey. Yes, that’s how I got here. And I operate in various capacities. Professionally, I may compare. That’s both in my corporate life and beyond. That’s on the one hand, beyond the other things I do. I serve in the tourism industry, not just professionally as a compere, but in other capacities, including of course, ambassadorial roles and influencing roles. I’m currently Carnival Calabar consultant and adjudicator. Well, I started as an adjudicator for both the national and international Carnival Calabar, but now it has gone beyond that. And I’m almost like, some people will say, the face of DSTV for Carnival Calabar. I also co-authored the book, which I would say was all over the place or has gained deep penetration titled ‘Carnival Calabar, 15 Years and Counting’. So the Carnival is in its 21st year now, even though we just marked the 20th celebration. So we’re looking at doing an updated version of that. Those are some capacities in which I constantly contribute in the tourism industry, but yes, becoming Mrs. Tourism was my favourite. That’s the avenue through which I made my tourism debut. And it’s been amazing ever since then.

How did your husband react to your involvement in a beauty contest, knowing that some men are possessive when it comes to their wives?

Some people say, ‘you’re just a woman of many parts.’ And I agree with them. I never argue that because another part I didn’t tell you is, I have not just a foundation. In fact, my company, WABIO International, is an acronym. WABIO is, Women Are Beautiful Inside and Out. So most people just say WABIO, but it’s actually an acronym. So it’s a reminder to women and girls that you can be everything you wish to be and more. Now speaking of my husband, the first question he was asked when I won on the national stage, before going to represent Nigeria in Kingston, Jamaica, was ‘you’re not just an Igbo man, you’re an Nnewi man, Anambra to the core. How in the world will you let your wife do this?’ On the stage, this was after I got crowned. And he told them ‘she doesn’t stop me, she doesn’t prevent me from achieving my dreams, so why should I stop her?’ Now, it takes a man of high internal security to be able to hold that position. But then a lot of women have come to me. I mean, it’s been 10 years since I won Nigeria Mrs. Tourism. A lot of women come to me and they say, ‘you’re lucky your husband allowed you, I really want to do it.’ So I shut them down immediately. No two marriages are the same, no two couples are the same. So you can’t sit and say because my own husband allowed me, so that makes him a better man. No, darling. So what works for me may not necessarily work for you. The reason, or whatever it is that has given him that confidence that don’t worry. In fact, let me even say something really interesting. I learnt this much later after I had won. His friends at that time told him, ‘I hope you know you’ve lost your wife, forget it.’ So did he have that fear? Maybe, but it was never shared. But the man himself, from whom I already mentioned, okay, see what I’m trying to do, who okayed it from the get-go, had his reasons. So I’ll always remind other women to say, your husband saying, no, you can’t do that. Go over my dead body. He probably has his reasons. I’m not about to get into that conversation with you.  Mr. Enemchukwu himself had complete reasons as to why he says, darling wife, go ahead. You have my hundred per cent support. So, I don’t need to start dismantling or dissecting that part, talking about the reasons. But whatever it is you wish to do, go for it. That’s usually my charge. Go for it. Have a strong conviction. Be clear on it. When the vision is clear, decisions become easier. And that was the story for me. My husband is God-fearing. As a matter of fact, he would have been a Reverend Father. He was an altar boy for a long time. He has a strong sense of self, a strong sense of internal security, a focused man, and he knows where he’s going. I am a Catholic as well and some would even say I almost became a Reverend Sister as well.

What made you drop the idea of becoming a reverend sister?

It was not that deep. It’s just that those on the outside would say she is from a family of strong Catholic background. So it wasn’t exactly what I would call a dream. For me, it’s been 17 years of blissful marriage.

What inspired you to go into pageantry?

When I was younger, maybe as a teenager, I was blessed with a good body. Let’s put it that way. Don’t worry about my shape now because I am a mother with three teenagers.

Tell us more about being a learning and development expert?

For 19 years and counting, I’ve been in the field of soft skills. And by that, I mean, for those who wonder, what exactly are soft skills, and how do they differ from hard skills? So it’s my job to ensure that I help people relate better with others. No one operates in a vacuum. No one operates in isolation. You interact with people. So, beyond having the technical skills, technical competencies, being able to handle the hard stuff, there are things that oil that wheel of every relationship. That’s where I come in as a soft skills expert. So if you’re talking about emotional intelligence, time management principles, stress management, and achieving service excellence. 

So what I do is, I take not just individuals but organisations. And that’s what I’ve done for 19 years and counting. My focus, some people will say, okay, maybe the main area is customer service. That was a foundation, but it has since expanded. All soft skills, that’s what I handle. Organisations that have new employees or want their managers, supervisors to perform better on the job and off the job, they involve me. You can’t give what you don’t have. So you’re not able to be a good employee. If you’re not a good person yourself, you’re not able to lead others. If you’re not able to lead yourself. You conquer yourself by speaking of internal victory before public victory. That’s where I come in, in terms of soft skills. When I say learning and development, I help with human capacity development



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