Dave Umahi: A Tale of the Elephant and Ant
I don’t know which one is the elephant and which one is the ant in this matter o. The other day, the Minister of Work, Hon. Dave Umahi and the very influential and decidedly stubborn TV personality, Rufai Oseni went at each other. Shocking language was used on live TV. Thankfully, it was not a physical discussion; otherwise, someone would have been thrown in the air, and the other would have found himself either naked or his clothes half-torn.
It appears that both had things on their shoulders against each other as Dave set out from the bell with powerful and stingy blows at Rufai. Rufai, not one to back out of a fight, started shouting: “Hon, Minister, keep quiet, Hon. Minister, sit down, Hon. Minister, if you will let me.” Hon. Minister sef no gree: “Rufai, keep quiet. Rufai, you are too little for me to report you. Rufai, this is nonsensical. Rufai, I will blow you ooo.”
Well, I wrote a piece on the matter, which Rufai did not find funny, and he gave me a piece of his mind. Rufai was not the only one who did not like the piece. A lot of our mutual friends called in to say, “Ohhh, he is your friend, why go at him in public? You should have spoken to him privately.”
The spat was in public, and I have a public voice, so me too I jumped into the matter in public. My position is clear, both sides were wrong by the way they attacked each other, because they cost us the opportunity to get the facts about that ‘miracle road’ that we really need to know.
Shouting and being abusive cannot be in the tenets of any profession except the motor park touts, and if you like, come and beat me. The truth is that both were “motor parkish” in that programme – agbero’s in suits. Sorry, na one person wear suit. I no even know wetin that minister wear that day with his stomach pushing at the buttons. Shameful, if you ask me. Thanks.
Bovi: That Asaba or Which Asaba?
During the week, Nigerians marked the 58th anniversary of that heinous act carried out on the Asaba people during the Civil War. It is said that about 1,000 people wearing white and carrying green leaves to welcome the troops were mowed down and buried just like that.
I watched this celebrated comedian go through the harrowing story on Instagram and burst out in tears. He described how the people trooped out in merriment and how what they met was bullets and carnage. The most painful part of his story was that those who survived were now asked to bury the dead, and one man saw his brother in the hole still alive and begging him not to bury him alive. The soldier told him point-blank, “You bury him or you die” – and that was it.
Too many stories, too gory to be recapped, so I will leave it at that. For now, my thinking is for us to push vigorously, truth and reconciliation. The Asaba people have been asking for this all of these years, and I think the federal government should come out and take a categorical stance on this matter so we get true closure. Thanks.
Omoyele Sowore: I Had a Bad Dream
I had a very bad dream about this activist recently. Yes, I dreamt that he lost his life in the struggle. The dream was gory and sad. I woke up in tears and in sorrow. I tried to reach him, but could not. He has shouted out about his fear for his life in this struggle for Nigeria.
Nigeria has never been short of martyrs. The sad thing is that those sacrifices really have not led to any fundamental change. See Ken Saro-Wiwa and crew. The things they fought for are still very prevalent, if not more today. If MKO Abiola woke up today and saw the democracy he fought for, he would beg for his life back. So throwing yourself up to be possibly martyred is something that I will really think twice about in our country.
We need serious prayers as we plod on in this country. It is not a struggle for only one man; it is a collective struggle. Things are so bad that even the President is complaining. Everybody is complaining, even those who seem to be enjoying the lucre are also complaining. Processes, order and institutionality have been weakened to the point that we are getting very close to – every man for himself.
I don’t even know what else can be done. We have talked, cried, railed and prayed, but things seem to be still going down the drain. Every election cycle throws up the same thread of discontent amongst the people. Poverty is ravaging, despondency is plenty, and it is very, very difficult to keep an optimistic face when it comes to Nigeria.
For my brother Sowore, all I can do is to pray really hard for you. God will give you the strength to keep standing, but what you really need is the wisdom to navigate these perilous times. God be with you, my brother. Thanks.
Ade Adefeko: His Visa, Our Pain
Ade is the consul of an African country in Nigeria. He is a well-travelled bogeyman who is very powerful in international talk circuits. As I was scanning through reports seeking content for this column, I stumbled on a clip of him speaking in one of the many international conferences that he so often attends. He spoke o, but what caught my attention was when he said that he used N480,000 to travel to Abuja to get a visa that cost him N78,000.
He was shut down by the moderator, who felt he was going out of context, but knowing Ade very well, he pushed back and reclaimed the spotlight and finished his treatise by calling for one passport for all Africans so that we can travel easily and trade easily.
Mbok, Ade, no go do the one that they will now come and be pursuing you o. Remember that was what Gaddafi called for, and na for gutter we pick his eyes and another gutter we see his right toe.
For me, the ongoing pushback by the international community on not only Nigerians but others from such “despoiled” states should be seen as a wake-up call. We should now push to stay back and redirect the huge resources we spend on travel, tourism, health, and education abroad to rebuilding our nation.
We humiliate ourselves too much by rushing to these countries. Nothing is so humiliating as standing at the immigration desk of a foreign airport and person wey never bath will be asking you mumu questions because you are holding a Nigerian Passport.
For me, if we build this country, people will be fighting to come – like Detty December and we would be begged to come to their country, not this one that we sneak in and they will be pursuing us up and down on their streets and deporting us like disused sanitary towels.
Ade’s dilemma is the dilemma of a country that has lost its place of pride, sure and simple, and we can only get this back if and when we decide to heed the call of nationhood. Thank you.
Uche Nnaji Fell Through the Cracks
This one has resigned. How they even have the mind to do these things continues to baffle me. You did not complete school, and you went ahead to forge a degree and NYSC certificate when all you needed was just primary six. Why not go to school part-time or online and finish the damn thing, even as a minister? Would that not have sent a more powerful statement than this one that you have been labelled a forger?
Was it not Obasanjo who went to NOUN after he left office? Did Gowon not go back to school after it all? What is this craze for academic excellence without doing the work?
Now everybody is a Dr., even someone who did not pass primary six is parading himself as Dr. Everywhere you go is Dr. this and Dr. that. If you ask what discipline, they will say honorary. It is so bad that those who actually worked for their doctorates are now finding it very difficult to confidently wear that toga because of all the Nnajis of this world going around and calling themselves Dr.
Don’t let me even talk about the screening processes. Shebi it is just to bow down and go, and Akpabio will shout, ‘The Ayes have it.” That is how simple it was for this Nnaji person to pass through the screening to be named, of all things, Minister of Science and Technology. A man who did not complete school and who faked himself to glory. Thankfully, he has been ousted and an example has been made of him, and for once, I agree with Atiku, he should be prosecuted. Simple.
Is Goodluck Jonathan Really Running?
Wait o. It is looking like as we progress, this baba’s ambitions are getting real. Former President Goodluck Jonathan is looking like, against all common sense, he will be throwing his hat in the ring.
Not that I think that there is anybody who can defeat Tinubu today in Nigeria, his candidacy would most likely block any real, robust threat to Tinubu’s second term, as it will divide votes, throw in rancour and distract us from the main challenge that we need to give Tinubu.
I think Jonathan is believing the hype of the hypocrites around him, or what else can one say? Which voting bloc does he control- is it South-west or South-east? Or is it North-west? Can he defeat Wike in Rivers, or can he take out Akpabio in Uyo? The only thing going for him is facial recognition as a former president and his bowler hat. That is all.
He has no feet on the ground, nothing from his administration to hold as a bragging right. Not an orator and not a strong personality. What exactly he is selling beats me, and the whole thing is making me believe what some analysts are saying that he is being thrown up by Tinubu to shore up opposition and if this is true, then that would be humiliatingly sad.
Is it Really Adebayo Adelabu’s Turn?
Copycat Power Minister has declared that it is his turn, and who will blame him? In a polity where issues are never factored in during political considerations, it is the mantra “my turn” that holds sway.
Shebi aburo has watched his egbon do it at the federal level and emerge victorious; it would then be too foolhardy for him to go on the road to discuss his plans for the long-suffering people of Oyo State, especially in critical areas of health care delivery and the rest.
To be taken seriously, he must toe the pathway of “emilokan”; otherwise, the people will just hiss and walk away.
The sad thing about this mantra is the message it connotes to right-thinking people. For me, it says, “Look, others have come and done their thing; it is my turn because I have either been watching them or helping them, and I am tired of doing that. As such, by compulsion, you guys must put me there whether I deserve it or not.”
That is the real explanation behind that mantra, and Nigerians were left with no choice but to obey that command; otherwise, we will “lu le.”
Today, Oyo people are faced with the same dilemma – either vote for a poor-performing power minister or vote for Bayo Adelabu. Either way, they will be done for, because it is his turn.
I wish Oyo people well and sincerely do wish their emilokan candidate all the grace he thinks he deserves in this race. Crap.
Waliyah Abiola Stole the Show
As you all know, I am in London for my show on Chief MKO Abiola. Please don’t vex o, let me just say one thing about the show.
After the show, the very beautiful Waliyah Abiola came on stage and delivered a very powerful homily in tears. She talked about unity, sacrifice and all those great things that make a serious nation. She mentioned that she lived those days with her father in Lagos and witnessed all that happened and prayed that Nigeria should never go through the stress like that again.
She was given a standing ovation after her speech as the audience welled up in tears. The irony of it all was that Rear Admiral Augustus Aikhomu, who was number two in the regime that played a key role in the annulment, also had his child and grandchildren in the hall.
Legacy is very key. Our leaders must always think about legacy in all they do; otherwise, history will bite them.
Imagine being an Aikhomu’s descendant in that hall that day. Just imagine.
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