Akinwunmi Ambode: On the March Again?
You know how during the Ibrahim Babangida years, people would say that soldiers were willing to go to war blindly for him? That’s exactly how I feel about Akinwunmi Ambode. I am rabidly and passionately in love with this man. The reasons range from the personal to the macro.
Personally, this was the first-ever sitting governor to call me. I remember that day very clearly. It was on a Sunday. I was driving when my phone rang. Irritatedly, I asked who the caller was. “Akinwunmi Ambode,” was what I heard.
I could only mutter ‘wow’ after I heard his name. He said he was calling to say he was a fan and enjoyed reading this column and would love to buy me a beer in Shomolu.
Since then, we have built a different kind of rapport that has seen me grow a very deep respect for the man.
At the macro level, we all are living witnesses to the infrastructural revolution he fostered in Lagos. Thankfully, his successor continued. The man turned Lagos into a huge construction site, building carriageways, hospitals, theatres all over the place.
The man on the street cried when it happened but thankfully, it’s looking like Lagos would be given a second chance.
During the week, I received a poster with Oga on it, announcing something about himself in Lagos.
I immediately grabbed it and shared it to all and reached out and said congratulations in advance.
Ambode is my Sodom and Gomorrah experience. He is that one person that I will ask of God – if there was one person in APC, would you save it? I am sure that the answer will be very positive. Ambode is relatively young, passionate, a deep thinker and loves his people – the quintessential servant/leader. Kai, see as I dey hail the oga, but no blame me, he is the people’s choice. Eje ko wole. Thank you.
Dede Mabiaku: A Daniel Has Come to Judgement
I am sure you all were well aware of the firestorm debate between the legend Fela Kuti and the megastar Wizkid orchestrated by Fela’s son Seun Kuti. The country scatter as everyone took sides. The debate was fierce and almost got violent in some quarters. Fela was the biggest ever thing that Nigeria has ever produced and exported culturally, but Wizkid, in my estimation, has taken it very far from where Fela could have imagined.
Anyways, that was how Ruth Osime invited me, Dede Mabiaku and one boy that is the president of Wizkid fans club to her famous programme to discuss the matter.
Now Dede on his own is a mini legend, a Fela protégé who saw it all. He lived the life, witnessed it all and was there with him for over 30 years. In some quarters they have said that Dede was even more Fela than Fela. If you see his rendition of the Fela classic “Water No Get Enemy” you will see what I am saying.
Dede was only able to mute me because I was firing from all cylinders in favour of Wizkid by going philosophical. I must give it to him, he was very brilliant in escalating the Fela mystique. He talked about the philosophy behind that mind, the push for black consciousness, his being compared to Mozart, and generally just better situated the Fela persona within the context of its immortality.
It was a brilliant outing, and that for me, put paid to all the noise. As we stepped out of the studio, we continued the conversations and he spoke eloquently about his time with Fela which made me giddy with excitement. But there was a certain deep sadness in his eyes, like something he is afraid to talk about. You know when you have gone through fire and are afraid to try it again. I mentioned it to him and he screamed, “Me? Itsekiri royal blood? I no fear anything and anybody. I just dey fight for the body of music,” he railed.
But the more he spoke, the more convinced I was of that place behind his fiery eyes that he would not want to go to again. I wonder what that is, no matter what it is, Dede remains an icon in his own right.
Omoyele Sowore vs Reno Omokri: Truth On Trial
If Nigeria were a movie, it would win the Oscars back-to-back. So one man jumps up and shouts “Oh, he is a drug pusher. I have spent my money and time and have documents to show that he is a drug pusher,” his reward after recanting is an ambassadorial role. The other one also jumps up “Oh, he is a criminal,” and he is facing jail time, if he is not careful.
Since he had withdrawn his earlier statement, the first man argues that it cannot be used against him. Now the judge discounts that and admits the drug baron video as evidence. The defence lawyer now asks the people who took the – he is a criminal – proponent to court, “why did you guys now clear the drug baron singer for an appointment even after that statement?”
The answer Nigerians got was “I don’t know.”
Then it gets worse, I don’t even know if the president is aware of the statement or even this trial.
That is what in movies they call a wrap or in basketball a dunk. The man they have abused has not shown any sign that he is vexing. In fact, he has been reported to say that he ignores those things for his mental health. It is another person whose job is something else that takes it in his stride to pursue the case. This is what in Shomolu we used to call “afamaco,” doing what dey no send you.
Anyway, the film never end. We are still watching.
Isaac Fayose: Let’s Fear God
I could not sleep this night and decided to scroll through social media. Immediately, I stumbled on a post by social critic and my very good friend Isaac Fayose. He was reeling in sarcastic humour as he gleefully announced that the Ekiti State Governor, Biodun Oyebanji, had just approved the tidy sum of N76.6million as car and housing loan to 15,000 primary school teachers in the state.
He didn’t stop at that but went ahead to ask his teeming followers to help him divide the sum so that he could decipher how much of the said sum would go to an individual teacher. He then offered the sum of N50,000 for the first to win.
I quickly joined the contest not because of the N50,000 but because the whole thing looked and sounded very ridiculous. I did the math’s and arrived at a little bit above N5,000. It was then I knew that oga had just misinformed his many followers. For how can a whole state governor give out N5,000 as housing loan. I think the last governor that did something so outrageous was a South-east governor who was said to have given out N500 to every nursing mother and he was booed for his efforts.
So, I did a quick check and found out that the actual sum was N590million and it was for 400 teachers which each teacher to get N1,475,000 which cannot buy the Mini Cooper I just bought but was still way off the N5,000 the bald-headed Isaac so gleefully reported.
All I can now say at this juncture is – make we dey fear God. Thank you.
Chris Okotie: Where Forth Art Thou?
Please don’t mind my biblical language. That is how Pastor Chris used to speak. The dashing and powerfully vocal man of God has really gone silent for some time now. You know I never thought of it until my brother and veteran journalist, Abiola Aloba, posted on his IG page the question – where is Chris Okotie?
Then it struck me daddy has not really been in the public view and a lot has not been heard from him. I don’t even know if his wonderful church where I used to be a member is still functioning.
We miss his big English o, charismatic persona and most especially his Charis Award where he used to give special awards to deserving Nigerians.
Please anybody that knows how to contact him should please tell him that I am looking for him o, if for nothing else to come and speak big English in describing the current state of things in Nigeria. My Lord, please come out o Nigeria needs you now more than ever before. Thank you.
Laide Agboola: A Purple Moment
Laide is worried. Laide is the extremely brilliant entrepreneur that delivered for Nigeria two iconic malls – the plush Purple Maryland and superlative Purple Lekki. Laide and his partner Obinna, another strategically brilliant investment banker, have together built Purple Group whose 2025 valuation stands at about N100 billion.
These days however, they have a huge headache. Due to some extraneous macro-economic factors, they were not able to meet dollar denominated obligations to international counterparties on the Maryland Mall part of their business and as a result, a receiver manager was appointed.
Since then, service at the Mall has gone dog-eared. Escalators not working, ACs parked up, all these leading to a slowdown of traffic, turning the Mall into a ‘one kain place’. The other day, a young writer lamented on a medium about the sad state of the mall which went viral.
That publication made me reach out to Laide and Obinna to ask them what was going on and they assured me that they were in talks with their obligors and are very sure that very soon things will be normalised. I pray that they succeed because businesses like theirs create jobs, opportunities and sustain hope. It is not easy running a business in Nigeria, the challenges are crazy but then again lion hearts like Laide and Obinna are what they are because of their dogged approach to things like this. Meanwhile, rush to Purple Lekki and see the magic ongoing. I really wish them well on this one.
Lere Olayinka: Democracy Made in Ekiti
This Ekiti man is turning principles of democracy on its head o. The other day on TV, I watched him say that since Wike is controlling 27 members of Rivers State legislature and the only three that he is not controlling have stopped going to the House, that the sitting governor should be bowing to Wike.
This is democracy taught in his village and not the democracy we all know. What intrigues me about Nigerians is the way we boldly and confidently spew crap. If you watched Lere on that programme with the way he was postulating, you will be thinking he was a Harvard-trained political scientist. How you sit boldly on national TV and speak so confidently about a travesty will continue to amaze me, I swear.
Why would a sitting governor who is supposed to have been elected by the people who are the custodians of power now go and be bowing to an appointee simply because the appointee is controlling legislatures who were meant to have been elected by the people who they represent through undemocratic means?
This is real democracy Ekiti style and imported to Rivers. Mbok, Ekiti people come and carry your pikin o, kai.
Toyin Abraham and Over Sabi
Her movie was the one of two that I watched this Christmas season, the other being Funke Akindele’s ‘Behind the Scenes’ – that one has crossed the N2billion mark.
Now Toyin’s own has just been announced to have crossed the N1 billion mark. This is very remarkable, especially if you remember that she was screaming the other day that cinemas were playing rough with her.
Despite that glitch, she hit her strides, jumped into her knickers, put on her bra and hit the streets, marketing her movie and today it has paid off and she is now a billionaire movie maker.
The movie itself was a joy to watch. It first started loud and noisy.
That Adeolu Adekola’s part was just crap. It almost made me stand up and leave the screening. It didn’t make sense but wise counsel made me stay to the end and I did not regret it.
The overzealous Christian sister played by Toyin herself, the Igbo Yoruba chief played by Mike Ezuruonye who was her husband, their love and the cacophony that was their household with the two daughters and the shy silent son who eventually killed his girlfriend.
The most touching part of the movie was when the police eventually came and the mother took the fall and said she was the one who killed the girl. Wow, the tears on screen and in the preview hall were crazy.
I wept like a child – this kind thing used to touch me, I swear. I cried oooo when I got to my car, my driver was just looking at this his crazy boss.
Mike was certainly the star of the movie. His seamless switch between Igbo and Yoruba wisecracks, his portrayal of an Igbo chief who had been totally assimilated to the Yoruba culture but still stubbornly tied to his Igbo roots or should I say links as he doesn’t joke with his “town meeting” was perfect. He killed it for me and was certainly the pull.
Congrats my sister, well done. Your grit and push are a truly Nigerian story. Well done and God bless.
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