It Was All A Joke Between Remi Tinubu and Adeleke
I am sure you all saw the clip. The one where First Lady Remi Tinubu walked up to Governor Adeleke to ask him to stop singing or she would “off the mic.”
Nigerians went gaga. Led by my egbon, Dele Momodu, all sorts were said about the incident. Oh, a First Lady with no constitutional rights; a sitting governor, what an insult, a constitutional hara kiri.
My people, the abuse was so much to the point that mummy had to come out to beg us not to amplify her mistakes.
You see, for me ehn, when people have suffered too much as we have, they become taut and angry. So, any small thing, they will unleash. That is why they say that a hungry man is an angry man. Nigerians are very hungry, and as such, when a few of us who are not hungry do things like this even in a playful manner, we will overreact.
Me, I have watched that footage severally and I didn’t see any real affront there o. The best we can say of it is what Yoruba people call “arifin” or “see finish” in pidgin.
Those two are very good friends and were very close in the Senate. If you recall, the then Senator Adeleke was among those who built a wall around Senator Remi to fend off the rampaging Senator Melaye that year.
So, this could have just been two friends playing around, and you people in your perpetual angry and hungry state are now overreacting and crying more than the bereaved.
But even this Governor Adeleke, if speaking English is the problem as I suspect, get a teacher or read a speech. Which one is singing every time and everywhere? If singing runs in your family as it obviously does, then go and do backup either for your nephew or your son and reduce this thing abeg. It is getting too much abeg. Thank you.
Harrison Gwamnishu: The Hunter, The Hunted
Harrison is that man who used to jump into the bush to assist kidnapped victims. He is a real-life superhero like those ones in those American comics. But because na Delta man, they have not sewn costumes for him like Spiderman and Superman of the Marvel Comics fame.
But what the man has been doing is nothing short of superheroism. Going almost armless into the forest to confront kidnappers, rescue victims and that kind of thing? Mbok, count me out ooooo.
Now, all of a sudden, he is the hunted. Allegations are rife that he took out of the N20million ransom money they had given him to free a couple, and as a result, the kidnappers released only the pregnant wife and held down the husband.
The police, in a swift response, arrested Harrison and sent a signal to the kidnappers to wait, that they are coming, and will soon get back to them once they finish investigating and prosecuting Harrison.
Positions are heavily divided between those who say Harrison still remains a hero despite allegedly pilfering N5million of the money, and those who are shouting for his crucifixion.
His lawyers have been quoted to have said that removing part of the funds was his strategy, as he would put trackers in the funds to enable him to track the kidnappers.
Mbok, where do I stand in all of these? I stand with the people who say that all of these are a result of the total collapse of the system. If you ever have any reason to go report a case — even if it’s a petty case of pickpocketing or a babe collecting transport fare and did not show up — to the police, you will understand why Harrison today has a self-given role in our society.
My people, I think that the family are yeye people for going to report Harrison. The people they went to report him to, what have they done beyond doing photo ops with Harrison and showing themselves interrogating him in pidgin English?
If I were in their shoes, I would thank Harrison for taking his fees up front but beg him to wait first for us to secure our people and then give him a car or house or six virgins as collateral for his fees. The most important thing is the life of those in captivity and not any yeye N5million.
Today, Harrison is in jail; the man is still with kidnappers, the family will still be spending money to prosecute Harrison, and nothing is being achieved. From that family, to police, to bloggers calling for Harrison’s head, to Harrison, to kidnappers, all of you are leprose actors in a foul-smelling comedy of errors. Come and beat me.
Sheikh Gumi: My Reluctant Support
Well, this man looks like he has not had a shower in years, plus the things he says make me ignore him. Once I see the headlines, I just hiss and move on without looking at the story itself. Like the one that he was quoted as saying, that it is better to kidnap school children than to kill soldiers.
I just hissed and said -werey le eleyi o- meaning that this one is a madman. Soldiers who have signed off their lives to die for the country as against school children who are the most vulnerable in the world?
Well, that was how this morning, I decided to even just read what exactly this man meant by all this rubbish he spews. According to him, the Army cannot win against the bandits. He went on to ask which regular army has ever won a war against a guerrilla army, and I must painfully agree with the man.
Guerrilla warfare is not fought with a standing army because they don’t stay in one place; they strike like hyenas and disappear. They mix with the civilian population, making it very difficult to attack without risking civilian casualties.
To better understand this, just imagine being attacked by a swarm of tambolo or soldier ants. They will be all over your body, biting and irritating you. You will be dancing all over the place, swathing them, but you can’t really see them. You will be feeling the bites everywhere, and in frustration, you will have to jump into a pool of water. Even at that, they will keep biting you.
So, he said, that negotiations, community relations, robust intelligence are all that is needed and not necessarily all these huge military structures that we are throwing at them.
Hmm…, Baba makes sense because Governor Fashola at some point had said something like this in response to a question by me along these lines.
It is for this reason that I partially want to agree with this man with the funny beard. Can we also ramp up activities in those areas he mentioned, except maybe the negotiations are part of it — that one I will never agree to — and see if it will work?
Na suggestion ooo.
Abubakar Malami: A Game of Thrones
This was Buhari’s Attorney-General, and he is presently cooling off his heels with the EFCC. They say he could not meet his bail conditions as at the time of writing, and as such, he is still there playing chess or whatever big men do in custody.
Mbok, the allegations are mindboggling that I am even too afraid to mention here again. If these things are true and proven, then we should look no further in search of the reasons why we are in the state of comatose that we are as a nation.
If the chief law officer of a nation can be in the middle of these levels of corrupt practices, then we are truly not only in trouble but are a dead people.
Please, slow down and note that these are just mere allegations, and the Baba has come out in a statement to note all his work in promulgating statutes to fight against money laundering, terrorism financing and all that he is being accused of.
Anyway, some analysts have said that these allegations only surfaced because he has announced his intention of running for the governorship of Kebbi State, and as such, they could just be trumped up or amplified to dissuade him from running.
But whatever it is, there has never been smoke without fire. These allegations, like the N10billion one and his wife’s N4billion loan fiasco, are only just so annoying.
Let’s be patient and see how this unfolds, as I have never been one to roast a man when he has not been given an opportunity to defend himself properly in a law court.
Till then, I hold fire. We are watching. Kai.
Kwam 1: The Fly in the Ointment
Like play like play, this plane catcher will emerge. The Ijebus are looking for a new king after the demise of the last one, and as expected, Fuji music maestro and one of the most influential Ijebu men in recent times has thrown his hat into the ring.
He recently submitted his letter of intent, quoting the laws of Ogun State and other laws, explaining why he should be considered for the throne. In response, his people have asked him to go and trace his family history back seven generations, which is very easy to do. In fact, if he wants me to do it for him, I will do it very easily.
The way the thing is going, KWAM 1 may just likely emerge, and there would be nothing any Aloba — who has written very strenuously on social media against it — can do about it.
If you ask me, I think the Ijebus should start preparing themselves for the golden era of Fuji in their palace, as this KWAM 1 does not joke. I have looked at the other contenders, and none meet his reach in terms of influence, accomplishments and notoriety. Kwam 1 is in a class of his own.
The only way that the Ijebus can avoid this moving train is to institute a compulsory DNA test on all aspirants, and we may just see that his great-grandfather was actually from Ukanafon in Mpanaak Local Government of Akwa Ibom, because anything short of that, na Fuji garbage on the throne. Na wa.
Ademide Adelusi-Adeluyi: More Than a Chip of the Old Block
Shey you guys still remember Prince Julius Adelusi-Adeluyi, one-time Minister of Health and promoter of the iconic Juli Pharmacy? Well, this is his daughter. A professor of African History at the world-famous Howard University.
She just published a powerful book, ‘Imagine Lagos: Mapping History, Place and Politics in a 19th Century African City.’ Long title abi?
Well, the book just won the very prestigious ASA Best Book Prize, among other accolades.
The book, from my understanding in my discussions with the famous historian, takes a look at Lagos streets, not only giving context to the names but also drawing up the stories and history behind those names and why the streets were named thus.
As I sat down with her and her professor husband, she opened my mind’s eye to the stories behind some of Lagos’ famous streets. She even once told me about the contest between early missionaries and traditional religion adherents in winning converts either way. She mentioned that most documentaries on the history of Lagos are locked up at the British Museum in London.
She showed me a copy of the book, and the in-depth work that went into it was very apparent as I held it, so it is no surprise to me that she has won this very much globally coveted prize.
Well done, my sister, well done.
Mensah Omolola: Religion, Blood and Her Cancer
This lady was diagnosed with cancer and was told that the disease was confined to the breast and shoulder areas. She went on social media and raised over N30million for her treatment, but insisted on not taking a blood transfusion. Instead, she chose a longer course of treatment.
Her decision is hinged on her belief as a staunch member of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. It is even reported that her church elders had threatened to punish her if she dared take the blood.
Now, this has angered Nigerians who ordinarily would not be interested since it is her breast, but because they raised and contributed to her treatment, they now feel that they have a stake in the matter.
Some in anger have said that she should return the funds so that others could use it to save their lives, but she argues that she chose one of the two options available to her and which would still cost her money and as such, we should all just calm down.
This matter goes straight to the heart of the matter – the effect of religion on our sanity.
Don’t let me say much, let’s all just be watching and seeing how it will pan out. All I know is that if I were in her shoes, and God forbid, I would slap that church elder that will try me with that nonsense. I swear, I will slap him.
Sunny Ade vs Ebenezer Obey, Who’s the Greatest?
This is one question that if you ask any Yoruba man, he will look at you with one eye, suddenly go dumb and walk away. This controversy I aim to bring back up, and anybody can come and beat me.
Mbok, between King Sunny Ade’s upbeat, sexy sound and the more mellow pseudo-religious sound of Ebenezer Obey, which artist would you say is the greatest?
I have the answer and will give it on this page in two weeks. When I talk finish, anybody who wants to come and beat me should feel free.
Na wa. I can look for trouble ooo. Mbok, who is the greatest of the two? Send me your answers anonymously if you like, but we must answer this question once and for all. Thank you.
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