Tinubu as a Good Chief Marketing Officer
It seems I am beginning to like this oga. Our president, of late, has started showing small signs of statesmanship. The road is still far sha, but we have started seeing glimpses that our president will soon leave his shallow, ethnic biased roots and become an expansive, internationally-regarded statesman.
What I first saw was an attack on him for declaring in Brazil that his administration has put an end to corruption. I initially agreed because the situation in the country is dire in that regard, but after reading his speech and studying the reports, my mind changed.
Oga was just marketing, and in that regard, it was fair to paint a very positive light to intending and prospective investors.
Shebi it was Buhari that climbed an international stage, called us names and expected investors to come.
President Tinubu, being a “street boy” and understanding how marketing is done, went on stage and declared that corruption is over. Me I agree with him o. If we are looking for serious partnerships, then we must sell a positive story even though the story get as e be.
Abi, would he now be telling the Brazilians that – aghhhhh if you see the level of corruption in my country ehnnn, you will run, or kai, kai, kai, my country is fantastically corrupt, quoting that long-nosed British Prime Minister who lost his job immediately after that statement?
No now, our President is the Chief Marketing Officer of the country, and as such, he must paint a brilliant picture to woo investors. He must stand boldly and proudly to proclaim the very positives of our land, and he must sell an engaging and enduring vision. This I believe is what he did on that podium in Brazil, and I support him.
Let us even get the investors’ back, when they get here, we will know what to do. Let’s even get to that bridge, but for now, kudos to our Chief Marketing Officer. Well done sir.
Taribo West: A Case of Old Hero of Yore
I don’t even know what to call this one. This one who used to carry green hair all over the place, opened his mouth the other day and annoyed all Nigerians. What the federal government cannot do in uniting Nigerians, Taribo with his wide mouth did it.
For the first time in a long while, this baba united Nigerians. All tribes, colours, sexual and religious affinities and even albinos all joined together to lambast and abuse the living daylight out of him for that stupefying tirade he made at Peter Rufai’s funeral.
Someone had pitied him and thrust a microphone to his face, and the next thing was vomit. Ohhh, Nigeria has failed ex-footballers, ohhh I cannot even allow my son play for Nigeria, ohhh Nigeria is such an ungrateful country, ohhh we gave our lives for the country
Mbok, this huge sense of importance is what has always killed me. Let me state it here that Taribo is not alone o. This class of spoilt Nigerians all share these views o. All of them, from Kanu to Okocha, to Etim, who came out to lambast him, to Waheed, all of them, they all feel “rejected”, so Taribo was just echoing their thoughts, and as he ran into a Bee Hive, they dodged.
Mbok, what kind of yeye heroes are these ones, because they chase a round ball on the field for 90 minutes after which they get paid sums that 90% of Nigerians will never earn in their lifetimes, makes them heroes?
Did they win the World Cup, and even if they did, how does that bring down the price of garri?
It is no wonder that one soldier came out to ask the president some telling questions when that one got carried away and was dashing Falcons – their female equivalents- huge sums as against the harried welfare package paid soldiers who are dodging real-life bullets.
Mbok Taribo and his mates should not just annoy the true heroes of this nation with their childish over-expectations.
Dapo Abiodun, Please Don’t Go Ahead
I remain horrified with recent news that, despite it all, Governor Dapo Abiodun may have gone ahead to seal up his rival Gbenga Daniel’s Hotel and homes in Sagamu in preparation for demolition.
This is very confusing and sad for anyone, let alone a sitting governor, to allegedly go through this Hobbesian route for any purpose.
Even if the man did not have all the necessary approvals or used his position then as a sitting governor to secure the assets, the timing of this particular exercise reeks of a very putrid, self-serving motive.
Mbok, anybody who is close to Governor Abiodun should please just pull his ears and warn him about legacy and history. If all of these are true, then he is taking the whole thing too far, and I must say that if he goes ahead with the demolition as reported, history will not be kind to him.
You see, our leaders fall for such barbaric acts because they really do not have anything to appeal to the voters. If he had performed even averagely well, it will be his people that will be shouting for him, but now he has to allegedly resort to bulldozers and caterpillars to reportedly secure a senate seat.
If it is true that this whole thing is on the back of a senatorial run, then as a sitting governor, he cannot resort to bullying to win the seat over a senator who is usually ensconced in Abuja wearing long beads and flowing agbada.
But no, oga would rather just render his opponent homeless than appeal to the people for a fair assessment.
Sad, the kind of leaders we parade. Really sad.
Kayode Egbetokun vs Omoyele Sowore: Who Blinks First?
Except you have been hiding under a rock, you must have heard about the royal rumble between our historic Inspector General of Police, Mr. Egbetokun and our veteran crusader, Mr. Sowore.
Sowore has been telling the whole world that the IG’s tenure has expired, as such he is now “illegal IG.” In response and as a reward for his efforts, he gets hulled into different cells, gets his hand broken and thrown from one court to the other on different charges. I think the only charge that has not been thrown at him just yet is sodomy and adultery.
Let me let out one secret. I did not want to make it public because I don’t have the juju Sowore has to enter cell and enjoy it. You see, the fear of cells is the beginning of wisdom so I don’t do anything that will bring me and that place together.
Anyways, I have had Sowore on my WhatsApp for a while now and I have kept it a big secret before one police or DSS will now call me and ask me if I know where the man is hiding.
Anyway, we were chatting and he informed me that the IG had asked for a private meeting and that he was not going. I shouted “aghhh alagba, you should go na,” and he refused. I tried so much to convince him but he was adamant.
Now even Mandela met his traducers severally so why can’t Sowore meet his “paddy?” Well, Sowore refused, insisting that it is not his style.
I wish him luck on his crusade of getting the IG out of office and must say that I truly do respect him for his courage and eagerness to be entering cell every market day.
As for the IG, me just dey look you and wondering who your advisers are. Someone like Sowore have been entering cell from their mother’s womb and all these strong tactics will not work as the man truly believes that it is this cell thing that will continue to keep him relevant in the struggle and may be one day immortalise him as a true freedom fighter, so you are just fueling his ambitions.
My advice is for you to treat him the way we used to treat craw-craw in our “yansh” – ignore it because the more you scratch it, the more it will be itching you, so you just ignore it and resist the urge to scratch it no matter how badly you want to.
The more you scratch Sowore, the more he will be annoying and irritating you. In fact it has gotten to a point where, if you don’t arrest him in two weeks, he will just go to the main road and abuse your men and shout – illegal IG and you sef will predictably carry him. You just no sabi, I swear, they are using your head o Mr. IG. Make I run.
Before Obasanjo Goes…
My daddy has been reported to have said that he doesn’t have time again and that he is in a hurry to see a better Nigeria before he goes. My take on this is that baba should just concentrate on his going because nothing seriously will change before his departure.
If that is the one that he is waiting for then, Baba will pass Methuselah and IG will still be pursuing Sowore and you will still be settling at police station directly under the sign “bail is free.”
Baba has tried, he has fought a civil war, struggled, jailed, almost killed for this Nigeria and instead of things getting better, they are getting worse. See that one that he was comparing Tinubu to Buhari and one “fish underling” who calls himself APC spokesman for Lagos started “abusing” baba. That is what you get with APC, they never address the issues but instead be attacking personalities.
This upstart takes on Chief Obasanjo who cannot by any standard be on the same level as his forbear. Instead to address the issue of “Buhari’s incompetence” that Obasanjo had levelled on Tinubu, he goes on a rant abusing Obasanjo.
This is why, I think that baba should now retire from public commentary like he did with partisan politics so that all these “garage boys” who parade themselves around power in a hypnotic, sycophantic fit will not continue to attempt throwing mud at him
For the vast majority of Nigerians nay Africans, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo remains a huge symbol of true passionate leadership. A man with vast international respect and a man who has served Nigeria more than any other pretender who has forced himself on us.
Baba, let’s rest, Nigeria is not going to reform anytime soon, let’s just relax. Thank you, sir.
Baltasar Engonga: In the Twilight Zone
Baltasar is the man from Equatorial Guinea who slept with almost all top government officials’ wives. From reports, only the country’s first lady escaped his marauding manhood – that one sef, maybe na age or she is not living in the country. From the vice president to almost all cabinet members down to the police, army, the man just scattered everywhere.
He not only “knacked” them, he even filmed himself doing it. Me, I loved watching those videos o. I watched the thing and even categorised them – fair-skinned, dark-skinned, tall, short, fat and slim. I devoured it like I was preparing for exams o.
What I liked the most was the way he treated the women. He was so gentle and romantic with them. He moved them carefully, kissed them passionately, held them lightly, whispered nice words and after it all would peck them, hug them and just make them feel wonderful.
Kai, imagine if he was Nigerian, I would have unleashed him on APC during election and we would have been saved from this wahala we find ourselves.
Anyway, the news on the airwaves is that he has been finally sentenced to eight years imprisonment for corruption and mishandling of funds. I just pray that there are no female warders, because the man will scatter them too.
He remains my hero and I cannot even wait for him to come out and probably write a book so that we, his proteges, can learn some more tricks. Kai, the stamina ooooo. No be tiger nut be that o.
Kemi Badenoch: Mental Health in View
It is not impossible that this one has a mental health issue o. First, you say you are not Nigerian because the police stole your brother’s shoe and they bullied you in Shagamu and because of that you are now an Essex girl and more British than Prince William. Good for you.
Now you have come out again to say that they are doing racism with you o. That you are facing ethnic bigotry, amongst others.
If you ask me, I will say that this is a pure case of identity crises. Mummy don confuse and this is not a case for an upscale psychiatric ward in the UK, it is a clear case for Yaba left where they will use “atori” to flog the sense into her head.
I even pity her when the inevitable happens – loses her position, where will she run to? Will she run to Essex people and say hide me or run to Remi Tinubu and say please I was misquoted, hide me?
When person carry palm oil and rub herself and dances close to flames, the inevitable happens and she will have herself to blame.
This one cannot be British Prime Minister o, she will just come and attack Nigeria o.
A Different Kind of Monarch in Oba Joseph Oloyede
Kabiyesi ooooooo!!!!!! This one has carried his own monarchy into jail and we have not heard anything about dethronement from his people. He has been jailed according to reports for four years for COVID-19 scam. Apart from the jail term, it has also been reported that upon his release, he would have a supervised release for another three years. He has lost his assets and a lot of cash was also seized.
This is the continued tragedy where we now have fish head leaders. From the top to almost bottom, you have leaders with blighted pasts and that is why you are seeing bulldozers instead of debates as campaign instruments.
This kabiyesi has gone to disgrace his culture, his people and Nigeria by going down so low to do this and I think the government should come out very strongly with a statement, saying that they support the ruling and also sending a strong warning that they will not support or condone any Nigerian out there damaging our reputation – that is if guilty conscience will allow them.
Anyways, this kabiyesi has carried his crown and beads into jail and I truly do wish him well.
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