How to style your mind —Tewa Onasanya, author, publisher,

By Christy Anyanwu

Tewa Onasanya is a mindset stylist. She’s the founder and CEO of Exquisite Magazine Services Ltd and Founder, Eloy Awards. Tewa ‘s debut books is an inspirational mind -growth and content rich tool, designed to help you live a life that is a reflection of what you want, and to help you do so intentionally. At her recent book launch ‘Rule Your Mind’ and ‘Convince yourself,’ last Friday at Oriental Hotel, Lagos, she spoke with Sunday Sun.

What was the defining moment or the experience that inspired you to write: Rule Your Mind and convince yourself? 

Right. So, Rule Your Mind first. Well the defining moment that made me decide to write Rule Your Mind was when I tested a hypothesis that said that whatever you think and how you feel about whatever it is you’re desiring, you will bring it to reality once you focus on it positively and you’re feeling the emotion of it. And I was like, ah, with this secret, I want to share it with the whole world.

So I started compiling a list of my life experiences and I put it into a quote and that’s Rule Your Mind. So it was at a point where I realised that we could actually create, co-create the life we desire with God. If we can only just think of the best things happening to us, feeling good about it, getting excited about it, we can live whatever it is we desire.

If a reader takes just one thing away from your book and applies it to their life, what would you hope that transformation would look like? 

Hmm, it would look like living the life of their dreams. It would look like seeing challenges for what they are and knowing that every problem comes with a solution. So, instead of focusing on the problem, focus on looking for the solution.

It would be a transformation, it would be living life on your own terms, knowing that you don’t have to respond to everything but you have to, you know, think within yourself how it’s going to affect you, how it’s going to affect the next person and just to choose the best line of action. I always say this, when things are not going my way, I think five seconds, one, two, three, four, five. Okay, how better can I make this a scenario where I would, at the end of the day, win or learn?

How do you stay motivated and focus on your goals, especially when you’re faced with challenges and self-doubts? 

Everybody faces self-doubts at one point in their lives and it’s, you know, it’s actually for life.

But what I do and what has been working for me is whenever doubt sets into my mind, I don’t fight it. Instead, I think of it as, okay, this doubt is showing me where I probably need more work. And then I ask myself, what better feeling thoughts do I need to think? Or I just start thinking of a better feeling thought.

I just think of something that probably happened yesterday or years ago that would make me feel better. 

So, what advice do you have for someone that is struggling to convince themselves of their worth and capabilities? 

What would I say? I would say challenges do come, but it’s how you rise after the challenges. And you have to believe that whatever is happening really and truly is still happening for you.

Because it’s either growing you and making you better or teaching you another way to go through stuff. Now, there will always be doubts. There will always be problems to solve.

But are you going to focus on the problem or are you going to focus on the solution? Before

you do all of that, you have to also know yourself, know who you are, know what you want, identify who you want to be and how you want to show up every day and show up like that every single day. 

How do you think your message can be used to empower the next generation and what initiatives are you planning to achieve with this? 

When we ask God for what we want, we’re not asking, pleading and begging. We’re asking from a point of thanksgiving to God, knowing that it’s already done.

And a lot of people need to know that. Instead of going to God and saying, please God, God

already knows what we want. It’s just us acknowledging that, yes, thank you for giving this in advance and being happy and getting excited about it.

Because really and truly, happiness is supposed to be our default. But the world has changed us to think of, you know, always think of the worst case scenario, think of a plan B, you know, you shouldn’t be too happy or you shouldn’t, be this or that… That mindset has to change .

Tell us about your childhood and growing up. What were some defining moments that shaped your personality?

My childhood and growing up was fun and interesting. I’m the first of seven girls, and thankfully, my parents made sure we all grew up to be confident with that great belief in our own abilities. Defining moments or a defining conversation would be my mum always ringing it into our ears that being educated is our property, and no one in this world can take it away from us. She always told us this, and it kept me desiring to develop myself and learn more. I feel so blessed to have been brought up in a way that encouraged personal development, and my parents are liberal enough to let us make our choices even though they guided us.

You do a lot. Publisher of  Exquisite magazine, Founder Eloy, author…  What time do you have to make all this happen?

Just like I said, whatever it is you desire, when you roll your mind to convince yourself first. I have the time to be able to do all I do and I’m a mother as well. I prioritise my things so I know what’s important at what time and I’m working towards it.

Yes, I’m not perfect, but I’m making do with what I have. I’m making sure that I am giving my best to every single thing that I do. 

So what lessons have you learned in your life? 

What lessons have I learned in my life? What lessons have I learned in my life?  If you have a vision, go for it. If you have a desire, if you have a dream, go for it. Because I strongly believe that your dream, your vision are God’s words for you. And God’s words do not return to him void.

So the only reason your dream will not become a reality is if you give up. So you can’t give up.

You will get up, get up, get up, get up until you win.

That’s the mentality I certainly have because I do not give up. That’s why in COVID season we still did an Eloy because I don’t let anything beat me. You have to roll your mind so you don’t let your mind take you out of the game of life.

Tell us about your style?

My style is simple, elegant, chic, I guess. I love to look good and I wear things that make me feel good. In my head I see Tewa. I see Dr Tewa as this really nice, elegant lady. Most times I don’t even… that’s what I see in my head, but people even just see me and say that, oh, you look elegant, you look blah, blah, blah. And I’m like, oh, okay, that means I’m exuding that.

So that means my energy is portraying that. But yeah, that is me. I love shoes.

That’s one big thing about my style. And I love brooches.

What is your favourite food?

Ah, there are quite a number of favourite foods. But if I was to choose, beans and bread or beans and plantain. Ah, yes, Ewa Agonyin and bread or Ewa Agonyin and plantain or eba and okra soup or pasta. And I love drinking tea as well.