Razaq Okoya: His Rights, Our Say
There was a statement credited to the very much respected industrialist and elder, Razaq Okoya. He reportedly said that he would hand over his sprawling empire to his younger kids. This statement reverberated not only in the business community where he bestrides with giant feet, but all through society.
Nigerians discussed this in hushed tones as there was no serious analysis of the statement in mainstream media or other such circles.
Truth is that Chief Okoya is so much respected and very well liked that a “not too clearly” thought-out statement like this would not attract the usual kind of opprobrium for those who know better. If it was me that made that kind of statement now ehnnnn, Rufai Oseni will go on air and scatter me.
The boys at Nairametrics will call me near-sighted and all of that.
Despite this, Daddy retains the right to decide what happens to his dutiful hard work at any time of his life or after, but for such a huge contributor to our national economic development, he should be a little bit more strategic in making a decision, knowing fully well that any wrong move would have implications not only for the Okoya family but also for the larger Nigerian economic space. This statement, credited to him, if true, does not really look like Daddy had Nigerians in mind. It looks to me like he must have made the statement after coming out of the Spa or after listening to Kwam I, one of his favourite musicians. Whatever the case may be, Daddy should sha try and be a little bit more strategic on this matter, if for nothing else, for his legacy. Kai, busybody will soon kill me.
Chimamanda Adichie: A Very Sad Song
By now, we would have all been inundated with the very sad and terrible news of the passing of this very well-respected writer’s son at a Lagos hospital. Following that very unfortunate incident, she has insisted on a judicial enquiry into the matter and during the last week, it was announced that some medical personnel attached to the case, including the administrator of the hospital, have been suspended.
This is a very unusual matter, I tell you. In talks with insiders and those knowledgeable with the case, both locally and internationally, some very critical information has emerged. What I have learnt is that the boy has been cremated. Now, what experts, both legal and medical, are saying is that with the cremation of the body, vital evidence that could help both sides of the case has been destroyed.
Experts that I have spoken to have confirmed to me that this is not the procedure, as you need an autopsy report before you cremate. Now, for me, the way I look at this thing is to strike out away from this very unfortunate and deeply painful situation and veer towards the system and its weakening procedures and institutions.
Who gave the authority to cremate without an autopsy report? Who went ahead to carry out the act without following due process? And what is the standard operating procedure on matters like this?
Let me lean on my own experience. When my wife, Mena Joseph Edgar, passed away in one Lagos hospital, I was totally left to my devices. Nobody’s hand held me; no official guided me through the process from deathbed to burial. In fact, I could have just taken her to the Lagoon, thrown her overboard, washed my hands, gone home and slept, and nobody would have asked me any question.
All I got from the hospital authorities was a pat on the shoulder and a “Sorry, we lost her.” The next time I saw the official was in the reception, drinking a cold beverage without a care in the world. I have heard stories of people throwing their loved ones into the Lagoon because of things like this.
This case, no matter how it comes out, must be used as a unique opportunity to look into this area in a bid to strengthen and clarify procedures of handling patients, among others. Patients’ rights must also be looked into and strengthened. Professionals’ rights must also be looked into – I hear some of them are actually physically attacked despite working under very stringent conditions.
This story is truly a sad story for both sides – the medical entrepreneurs who looked at the sad state of our healthcare delivery and decided to do something about it, only to run into this kind of turbulence, and the family of Chimamanda, who had to leave with the blight of losing such a wonderful son under these kinds of circumstances.
At this point, all I can offer are prayers for all concerned and stronger prayers for Nigerians who daily lose their lives to a corrupt and inefficient healthcare system.
Aliko Dangote: Dividend of Historic Proportions
Somebody had better start making plans to either carve a statue of Aliko Dangote and put it in strategic locations all over the country, including at the entrance of every international airport in this country, or put his name on the Naira note, or rename that University in Daura after him.
The man’s Dangote Cement has just announced the biggest dividend payout of about N700 billion ever. Mbok, at N45 per share, forget that he himself will be taking home about N300 billion; shareholders in that Dangote Cement are now the real “City Boys.”
This Aliko Dangote is not a human being o. The way the man is moving ehn, one needs to be mapping it and doing a documentary on him because from what we are seeing ehn, it is not ordinary eyes o.
From cement to salt and sugar, through every other thing, and now we are preparing for the largest ever listing on any African bourse – the Dangote Refinery, there is nothing anybody can tell me that this Baba is an “Egungun.” Please, permit me to be effusive in my praise of him. Kai. Well done, Baba, you are now an immortal. I tell you.
Ameena and Zara Indimie: My Proposal of Unparalleled Joy and Loyalty
Please, let me label my marriage proposal the way that former Cross River State Governor used to label his high-faulting budgets. The bobo will give his budgets fantabulous names, and the thing will fall flat with a thud. But very unlike my brother, my proposal of unparalleled joy and loyalty will deliver critical penetrative dividends to any of these two sisters who decide to come with me.
Immediately it was announced that they had won about $43 million from their father’s Oriental Oil company, I went into a strategic session with my advisers. My advisers included such huge eggheads like Yemi Shodimu, Alibaba, the famed comedian, and Mudi, the designer who is known to sew pants “wey no dey reach ground.” After hours of careful deliberations, we came out with this proposal of unparalleled joy and loyalty.
I was, however, advised to sit Duchess down in a room and explain to her the implications of this move and the utter benefits to her if I succeed. I was told to ask her very simply, “Of what use is an Ibibio man with superhero prowess in bed when he cannot even buy you the latest ‘Tokunbo car’ from China?” While I was about to enter the meeting, I got a letter from my landlord, Mr Edgar. I have increased your rent from N4 million to N6 million. Please pay now. I never even get the N4 million, talkless of N6 million. It’s like this person wants to make me homeless in this Lagos. That strengthened my resolve as I went into execution mode.
So, my dear Ameena or Zara, whichever one of you would be interested, my name is Edgar, the Duke of Shomolu and a very popular figure in Lagos. I am hereby sending to either of you my proposal of unparalleled joy and loyalty, which would place me at your full service in whatever emotional capacity you want. I am ready to sign a pre-nuptial agreement, which will state categorically that I will be entitled to just 5% of your total wealth in the event of a dissolution. Please pity me and add the clause that I can cheat once a month, which is very critical for the health and growth of our relationship. I really do not mind which of the two of you agrees to my proposal and has the capacity to take both. With all due respect, and if granted this wish, you will not only be getting a husband but also a driver, bodyguard, chef, masseuse, choirmaster and any configuration you want from me. I swear, your only regret will be not meeting me earlier. Thank you.
Government Tompolo: Trying Times
If you have seen the video of this Baba on the internet, you will be praying for me as I write this piece. In that video, he was in all white and with full paraphernalia of spiritual power. His eyes were red as he danced and did all sorts of things that show the man has the kind of power that can cause an earthquake and snow to fall in the Delta.
Anyway, one of the perils of this my self-appointed “amebo” work is to take these risks so that you guys can come back from church or whatever you do on Sunday mornings to relax and read this column.
We are hearing stories that the federal government, led by master strategists, is looking at reviewing the pipeline protection contract given to this “ogbeni” worth about N45 billion. Reports we are seeing suggest that the government may be looking at either balkanising the contract and involving others, or even taking it away from “private” people. The report says no matter what happens, the issue would impact the power equation in the Niger Delta.
You see why nobody can tell me that President Tinubu does not have juju. Something that everybody is afraid of. Something that a whole General Buhari, who fought the civil war and Maitatsine, cannot try that this Baba will now wear a caftan and come out of a Kwam I party and just do.
I once asked one of his closest aides, “Baba get juju abi? Because all these things that he is doing cannot be ordinary eyes.” The person told me that “See, one Kabiyesi came one day and gave Baba juju to hold. When the Kabiyesi left, Baba just trash the juju and went to eat amala, he no get any juju o.”
Well, I will believe when he goes ahead and cancels this contract and does not fall again in Turkey. Till then, na siddon look we are doing here in Shomolu. Thank you.
Alex Ikwechegh: Swimming Against the Tide
Nigerians were first introduced to this bobo when they said he unleashed mayhem on a poor deliveryman. The clip went viral, and he was forced to apologise and made restitution. Since then, he went into hibernation, and we did not seem to hear from him again until the Minister of State for Finance went to look for his trouble.
They said the questions that he asked the madam made her quiver and possibly lose her job. Then the rumour started. They said he went to see President Tinubu, who brought out a cow horn and started doing incantation the way they do in those Yoruba movies, and that by the time he finished pouring spit on the cow horn, the bobo decamped to APC.
Aghhhh, I was weak o but thankfully, the guy has come out to say that yes, he was decamping and leaving Soludo’s APGA, but instead of heading to everybody’s favourite destination, APC, he was going to LP.
Wow! That is what they call swimming against the tide. Such principles have become extremely rare in our political climate. This guy has shown tremendous courage, but then again, maybe he is only just being politically smart.
You see, it seems like Governor Otti has had Abia on lockdown with his superb and excellent performance, so anybody trying anything that is not LP in Abia might just be facing a huge barrier. So “senseman” quickly decamped to LP to ride on the governor’s popularity. Whatever the case, this move is refreshing in the face of the boring “let my people go” migration to APC by all and sundry. Thank you.
Pastor Chris Okotie: Where Forth Art Thou?
Please, where is our wonder Pastor o? We have really missed his jerry curls and big English. This season, where all we are hearing is Yoruba-laced English, Pastor Chris’s bombastic English would have really made a refreshing difference in the scheme of things.
Kai, where is the dandy boy of Nigerian politics and religion? The very charismatic pastor and fiery speaker has gone silent o. I am not sure that his church – I used to be a member – is still going on sef. What really happened? Why the disappearance from the public space?
Hope everything is ok o? Kai.
Wale Adedeji: Doing Things with AI
Let me seize the opportunity to celebrate one of Nigeria’s most respected techies. Wale Adedeji has leveraged the technology called AI to deliver to Nigeria tremendous respect globally. With imprints as far afield as Dubai, Saudi Arabia, Kenya, the US, UK and of course Nigeria, Wale at a very young age has attained global recognition in the business of AI.
His Datamellon have built platforms that global companies have taken advantage of to further deepen their market share. Wale has not rested on his oars but has gone on a global soiree, sermonising the gospel of AI and what it can do for humanity.
It is no wonder that federal government parastatals have come to him to explore ways that this AI can be effectively deployed to their functions.
Well done, Mr. Adedeji, we remain very proud of you. Thanks.
Kayode Adeleke: Wonders of Immersive Manufacturing
I think all serious-minded Nigerian businessmen, manufacturers and relevant government officials should pay a visit to his Victoria Island office and see the wonders of 21st century technology.
Kayode and his team at Russelsmith have perfected 3D printing, which allows them to print out very serious “parts” used in the defence, oil and gas and other such industries. This has reduced the delivery period, ramped up quality and impacted the bottom line of these companies.
From his office, he will just do something on his computer, and the next thing, he is printing a whole boat or spare parts for a warship from giant printers in his office, there in Victoria Island.
It is no wonder that the defence industry, not only in Nigeria but in Africa are queuing up for his attention and the oil sector is seeing him as the perfect bride. The other day, I saw a clip of him explaining the process to the Minister of State of Trade and Investment, and that one, like the rest of us, just opened mouth in wonder. Kai. Brainy people dey this Nigeria, I swear.
Leave a comment