Femi Araba Sanni: New Kid on the Block
I met with this elegant politician at the serene Ikoyi club recently. He spoke passionately about his plans and vision for the state. Femi just submitted his “letter of intent” to run for the governorship of Kwara State under the APC. The challenge, however, is that he doesn’t seem to be having the support of critical forces within the state, at least not just yet. That support seems to have been shared between the current Speaker of the State House of Assembly and one man they call Bob.
But he remains undaunted as he is very confident that he alone among the forerunners has the depth, capacity and shared vision to continue with the works of the incumbent, my favourite Governor Abdulrahman AbdulRasaq.
Even though Kwara seems to be going through a lot these days, especially with the current surge in insecurity, the incumbent, also known as Uncle AA, has been able to push one very striking infrastructural development in the state. He plans to turn the state into a conference hub and has built allied infrastructure. He seems to be making progress with this, as youths from all over 10 states have been flocking to take advantage. Furthermore, unlike in the past, when only four airlines flew into Ilorin, driving in traffic and supporting the assertion that sleepy Ilorin is gradually joining Abuja and other such states as a business Mecca.
The fear is that, if succession is not carefully planned, these achievements may not be sustained and here is why Femi seems to be looking like the man of the moment.
Femi is said to have worked very closely with AA, understudying him and gaining very strong insights as to how he works and how he has been able to deliver on his mandate, and this is why some very critical voices in Kwara and the Presidency seem to be moving towards Femi as a credible successor to the super-performing Uncle AA.
Well, we can only just watch and wait. I wish him luck on this. Thanks.
Femi Gbajabiamila: Let’s ‘Scatter’ Them
The other day, people were roasting this Gbaja for advising his friend to stay in ADC and “scatter” them. The clip of him making that statement went viral, and Nigerians at their emotional best scattered him o. The yabis were too much, and his fashionable wife was not spared. She is a very easy target with her quirky dress style and waiflike looks.
Anyways, I watched the video to be sure that it was not AI or fake news and didn’t see anything wrong with that tactic.
Why would you be praying for your opposition to remain strong and robust in a battle of this nature? Gbaja, for once, did not say anything wrong. If I were in his shoes, I would do the same thing – I would encourage members of the opposition party to “scatter the damn thing” so that it would save me time and resources during the campaign.
What the opposition should also be doing is to look for disgruntled elements in APC to also “scatter” the place too. By scatter, in my own dictionary, is not through violent means o but pseudo-democratic means of causing distractions and that kind of thing.
In politics, it is a mischievous strategy, but it is deployed globally to very effective use. By Gbaja’s admission, then, we begin to get official confirmation as to why LP, PDP, and now ADC will continue to have kwashiorkor because maybe Gbaja’s people are “scattering” the places o.
See PDP, the thing has been hit by Ebola since even LP is now looking like somebody with measles and the latest ADC is suffering from gonorrhoea, and you say we have opposition parties?
Mbok, let us also look into the 70% disgruntled APC members and also build a counterforce that will also “scatter”. It may be when they have all scattered themselves, a more robust nationalistic force will emerge because if you ask me, all of them, from APC to PDP to LP, are all leprosy children of the same father. Come and beat me.
Wale Edun: Candle in the Wind
The flame was blown off Wale’s wind during the week. His resignation/sack was announced, and Oyedele was immediately promoted to succeed him. Well, this is no news to very close watchers of the government, as his removal has long been expected. There have been many reasons given for his removal, the most prevalent being the rough encounter he had at the National Assembly and his contradiction of Mr. President on the Revenue Performance of the Government.
Another reason was his inability to pay contractors who dutifully placed a coffin at his office and started signing a condolence register.
Whatever the reason, this departure signposts the end of a professional relationship that has spanned decades. Only God knows what their discussions would have been underground throughout this period.
Senator Gbenga Daniel: I am Taking Sides
The other day, I saw Senator Gbenga Daniel in a coaster bus singing Ijebu songs after they had stopped him from attending an APC Caucus meeting, where it looked like they were going to replace him as senator.
He sang so well that one was almost risking advising him to try that career when all else had failed in politics. Senator Daniel must be going through the roughest patch in his political life. With his buildings being demolished, with personal and public humiliations up and down, all culminating with the police debarring him from holding meetings with his supporters.
You know this APC, the good thing about them is that the way they show other people is the way they show themselves. In this fight, nobody is talking about transparent democratic processes ooo, all we are seeing is manhandling, thuggery and diabolical moves.
Every outgoing governor wants to be a senator, me I don’t know why. Even the ones that cannot speak English well and have never seen the constitution in their lives want to sha go to the Senate.
Gbenga did the same, and now Abiodun wants it just like every other governor in the country has done, and nothing must stop Abiodun o, not even a Daniel whose relationship with Asiwaju, I hear, is far tighter than that of Abiodun.
What is happening to Daniel is a shame, and anybody can come and beat me for saying that. If one person is resorting to using state resources to bully someone of Daniel’s stature, then you can imagine what would happen to another visionary aspirant who just wants to serve Nigeria.
Coup Plot: Plea for Fair Hearing
Treason is a very serious offence, and that is why a lot of people used to mind their business when it is discussed. We just saw some people arraigned for plotting to topple President Tinubu, and they have been remanded to the DSS.
Then I saw the clip of the wife of one of those men crying. It was so touching as she lamented that she and her kids had not seen their father and husband for six months, and that Nigeria should come and help her save her husband.
You see, I used to tell people that when you want to enter trouble, choose the trouble well. Entering this kind of trouble is not the kind that one would wish for their worst enemy. Coup and treason are not troubles that one should ever think of entering. These ones have entered, and they must really thank their stars that this happened during a civilian government, because if it were a military government, we would just be hearing of their plot after they had been shot, and Madam would not be crying for us to save her husband but pleading that they release his toe for her to go and bury.
Thankfully, the Tinubu administration has taken them to a properly constituted court, unlike the military, which will hurriedly assemble six soldiers with school certificates and give them people’s lives to try.
The courts have asked that they be remanded, given access to legal defence, good medicals, and generally treated humanely. This is the beauty of democracy, even as we pray that the subsequent trials will be free and fair.
So, madam, stop crying and work to build a strong legal team for your husband so that he can legally plead his case. If he does it, he will come home to you and your children, but if he cannot prove his case…. I am sorry o because no matter the terrible government, it is our government and no single individual reserves the right to attempt to topple it, no matter what.
If the government vexes you too much as it is vexing us so, you go and campaign and do election. These soldiers will never learn this basic truth. It’s not as if they are even attempting this for our sake o, it’s for their pockets and for their wives to be doing first lady ooo. This is a lesson we should all learn, if you don’t like the government, carry a placard or become a candidate. Carrying a gun is a no-no. We will not beg. Simple.
Nasir El-Rufai: Stay Strong, Keep Fit
Na wa oooo. They say they have refused my brother Nasir El-Rufai bail, and he is to be remanded till June. Mbok, immediately I read this, my mind went to Yahaya Bello, who, after running around like a housewife trying to cover her nakedness from a randy husband, finally emerged in court and was granted bail almost immediately.
They say El-Rufai, as a former governor, would risk investigations and would be a flight risk. As such, he must be remanded. I read a report that his defence team did not come out to oppose the prosecution on some of the points raised, and as such, he had to remain in jail.
This is why Sowore, who is gradually becoming the conscience of the nation and is taken very seriously by Nigerians, has labelled this “lawfare.” According to him, this is when we use the law to fight our battles unjustly.
Bail, I hear, is a constitutional right, and as long as it’s not treason or murder, one should get it easily.
But then again, one bird whispered that the fear of El-Rufai is the beginning of wisdom in this election season, and maybe that is why he is being kept out of circulation.
Now, before anybody comes to beat me, please note that it was a bird that whispered that to my ears and that even though I sympathise with El-Rufai, I may not necessarily share those sentiments. The whole thing is looking one kind sha with this bail refusal.
One day, we shall be free, not sure if it will happen in our generation’s lifetime, but it will definitely happen. Thank you.
Yibo Koko: Taking Seki Global
Yibo, for those of you who do not know him, is the exponent of SEKI. Seki is a very colourful dance drama from Rivers State that he has been taking all over the world. Mbok, you should see this show. I have seen it before at the Eko Hotel when Heritage Bank sponsored it. Kai, the magic, the colours, and the beautiful dance and costumes, complete with mirrors, are a marvel to watch.
That is how Yibo took the ensemble to Los Angeles, and the legendary Lionel Ritchie was left with his mouth wide open. I have the video, if you see the way Ritchie opened his mouth, ehnn, if he did that in Lagos, fly will enter.
But do you blame him? I have never in my entire life seen such work of beauty. The choreography is out of this world. It is no wonder that Yibo has no energy left to do any other thing but this Seki.
The dance is something else, and I really do wish he would bring it back to Lagos for us to see it once again. Well done, bro, but how did you get visa for all these people in this Trump era? Well done.
Michael Jackson lives on
Mbok, like most people of my generation, I am a crazy Michael Jackson fan, so you will all pardon me. So, you can imagine the wild expectation towards his upcoming biopic, ‘Michael.’ I even know the date it is landing in Nigeria – April 22, Monday. I am going to be among the very first to go see the movie at the cinema.
Mbok, Michael was baddddd. Kai, if you see me doing his steps those days in Command Secondary School, you will run, na one of those things that made me fail form four three times so tey dem come drive me out of the school.
I knew all of his songs, and my favourite was ‘She is Out of My Life.’ The man was literally crying when he did the song, and I was thinking that he had truly lost a babe. The next one was the one he did with Paul McCartney, ‘The Girl is Mine.’ Kai, I used to sing that song from morning till night.
I cannot forget the day he died. I was in my tiny flat in Shomolu that night, and the Duchess, as usual, was in the room. I was still serving my four-year ban from sex for daring to have a child out of the marriage, so I was banished to the couch in the living room, and suddenly, CNN went into breaking news – Michael Jackson is being reported dead, but we are awaiting confirmation – I screamed so loud that the whole Shomolu came out.
Died ke, me that I am waiting for his last concert ‘This is It.’ Died bawo? Mbok, you people should wake him up o.
That is how he did not wake up, and the man died with over one billion people watching his tribute ceremony.
Kai, the man was a classic. We used to have one Igbo Michael Jackson in Shomolu. The guy had bleached skin like Michael, had his hair in wet curls and dressed in Aba-made Michael Jackson attire. He was taller than Michael but was skinny and a perfect copy. When you work past him and call him by his Igbo name, Eke, he will not answer you, but by the time you say Michael, he will jump and make one Michael’s move. He was perfect o and the whole Shomolu knew him.
So when Michael died, we all assembled in his house to console him. He hadn’t even heard – he no get CNN, we were the Ajebutters that had “Dish”, so we told him, and he screamed.
The next day, he had a full Michael Jackson concert with a giant tape recorder, and the place was full as he did one move after the other. Only God knows where Aba-made Michael Jackson is now, but the world still celebrates the icon, and I am here waiting to go see the movie, which I hear is a thriller. Kai.
Tony Elumelu: My Condolences
Let me quickly send my condolences to Mr. Elumelu and family for the recent loss of their father, Chief Ogbue. I saw the clips of the funeral service, and as usual, it was dope. Everything looked well, and the reception was handled by spirited Flavour, who serenaded the couple, who danced as if they were dancing at their wedding.
Anyways, Papa must have lived a good life, as can be shown in his legacy and testament. Kindly accept my condolences once again. Thank you.
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