Priceless tips for successful grooming of teenagers, by Michael Olatunbosun |

The book, Etiquette for Teenagers, is written by Yemisi Soyinka, a certified speaker, writer and social worker. She is the founder of Save Our Souls Initiative for Adolescent Girls (SOSIAG), an NGO that caters for the needs of orphanages and secondary school students. She holds a BSc in Health Education and a master’s degree in Public Health. Her other book is Yemisi’s Diary. Etiquette for Teenagers was published in 2024 by PurpleBloom in Ibadan.

The teenagers, people between 13 and 19 years old, are predominantly the rave of the moment. And a large part of the future rests on them. They are the people born into the 21st century, tech-savvy and quite overloaded with so much information. This set of people described as Gen Z hardly has regard for the elderly and their worldview is in dissonance with that of their parents and grandparents.

But how much attention are we all paying to them, especially in terms of preparing them for the onerous tasks before them?

That is the question (among many) that Yemisi Soyinka sets out to answer with this book. The author therefore submits that the book is written to redirect the moral compass of these teenagers, make them understand the expectations the family, peers and society have of them. The book also provides insights and guidelines for parenting teenagers, among other things.

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But to successfully engage teenagers today, there is a need to understand their peculiarities and preferences, challenges and choices. So the author reports that a whole lot of stats are stacked against them. For example, she reports that the current level of moral self-indulgence in the youths is alarmingly exposing them to harmful substances, unplanned pregnancies, increased depression and suicide, and sending and posting sexually suggestive messages online. 

The author sets out therefore, the critical importance of etiquette. For her, individuals need “to behave in a responsible manner accepted by the society” with the consequence that people around “must not feel embarrassed” (p5) by that behaviour. This is the whole idea behind the concept of etiquette. Thus, when properly guided (p6) and prompted, “teenagers can benefit from learning and practising proper etiquette.” 

Again, as a social worker, the author is very much passionate about seeing teenagers turn out well-mannered and well-groomed. She therefore submits (p6) that  a well-behaved young person will earn respect and appreciation in the society. “People often avoid a rude person like a plague, because nobody enjoys being treated disdainfully. The way you interact with your superiors, parents, friends, colleagues and strangers speaks volumes about your personality and upbringing.”

In the book, Etiquette for Teenagers, Yemisi underscores the critical place of attitude, a factor that pairs with etiquette. The author avers that when a younger person greets you, the impression you get is that he or she is humble, approachable and respectful, even if you don’t know any other thing about the person. This is the attitude factor. But she quickly ties it to character, which is a function of the home or upbringing. In other words then, parents and guardians must play their roles of nurturing young people and teenagers. While the author laments that many parents have failed woefully in this area, making their children lack etiquette, she admonishes them (p15) to “fill the roles of tutor, mentor, guide and so on.” 

One of the ways to instill disciplined etiquette in adolescents is to properly mentor them. Both formal teachers and parents can do this. Parents’ friends, uncles and aunties and other adults are listed in the book. But the author quickly clarifies that only morally sound adults can serve as mentors to teenagers. When mentors are not examples of what they teach, they basically add to the sea of confusion and complicate the challenges faced by teenagers.

The author, a certified speaker and writer, understands the essence of storytelling in conveying her good-intentioned nuggets to teenagers and their parents and guardians. She has therefore loaded the book with some of her adolescent experiences and real-life encounters to potently drive home her homily to adolescents, her primary audience. So she urges young ones to understand that peer pressure is real and can be damaging if not careful. Go straight home after school, she warns, as staying back and hanging out with peers could introduce one to dangerous adventures, substances and awkward acts. The author equally admonishes hard work and dedication to one’s purpose as sure ways to achieve goals. 

Equally emphasised in the book is the culture of contentment. The author urges the reader to be satisfied with what their parents give them. One major problem confronting youths of this generation especially is the urge to make it quick and big. But the grave consequence is always lurking around the corner. The author states (p59) that contentment and controlled appetite will always save you from all forms of trouble. “Covetousness will only expose your life to shame and disgrace. Learn contentment; it is very important…. Longing for something that is not yours can make you do wrong things.”

The rest of the book contains priceless success principles and tested tips for the successful grooming of teenagers and young ones. These tips include proper manners, how to set boundaries and dressing decently. Also included are admonitions on personal hygiene, money management and how to balance online and offline activities, among others. These tips are also complemented with lessons for parents, guardians and society at large.

In the final analysis, this book, Etiquette for Teenagers is a well packaged work by Yemisi dedicated to helping Gen Zs and other young ones know how to navigate the complex, yet inundating world around them. 

She also tucked into all the 143 pages of the book lots of personal experience and guidelines for all readers, including parents, guardians, and entire society. 

It is presented in conversational language to drive home the author’s point.

. Olatunbosun, broadcast journalist, fact-checker and book reviewer at Splash FM 105.5, can be reached via 08023517565 (SMS and WhatsApp only) and email miketunbosun74@gmail.com.

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